Healed By His Stripes

Isaiah 53:3-6
3.  He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him: he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
4.  Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
5.  But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
6.  All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.

When you're in the midst of sorrow and grief it can seem impossible to feel anything but your pain.  When I lost Lachlan, the pain and grief and sorrow were the only things I understood.  I didn't know why my baby had died. I didn't understand God's will or purpose.  I was filled with anger and hurt.  He knew how much I wanted a baby, that it was all I had ever dreamed of. I had suffered one miscarriage and then endured 18 long months before we conceived again.  For months I didn't pray and we weren't in church at the time so I didn't seek Him out to worship either. God was the last one I wanted to turn to for comfort.  Not until I found out I was pregnant again 6 months later did the ice around my heart finally begin to thaw, little by little.  With each week of my pregnancy a little more ice fell away from my heart.  And when my precious Kieran was born, my heart began to beat again, and I thanked the Lord for my beautiful son.  

The hurt wasn't gone but I could finally turn to God for comfort.

And now I ask myself why did I wait so long?  When I read these verses in Isaiah I realize just exactly what I did in those 6 months I turned away from God.  I despised and rejected Him, just as He had been by the very ones He came to save.  He was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. Who better to turn to in my sorrow than Him? Yet I hid my face from Him and esteemed Him not.  He bore my griefs and and carried my sorrows and I was an ungrateful wretch. I went astray and turned to my own ways, forgetting the Lord hath laid on Him the iniquity of us all.

No matter how great my sorrow was, no matter how grave the situation, it couldn't compare to what He suffered for me. And that is what I failed to remember.  My trials and tribulations here on earth, my sufferings, are nothing in comparison to the horror and misery of the hell He saved my soul from.  

He took my sin upon Him while He hung on that cross.  He took your sin upon Him and those of His rejecters.  He was wounded for our transgressions and bruised for our iniquities, so that by His stripes we might be healed.  All I had to do in my sorrow was to turn to Him, to remember the sacrifice He made for me.  If I had prayed, if I had turned to my Bible for answers in my grief, I would have remembered just exactly what He did for me on that cross and just exactly what is waiting for me in heaven as a child of the King.  

Jesus meets us where we are, if we but call upon Him, but He does not leave us where He finds us.