Isaiah 43:1 KJV
But now thus saith the Lord that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.
1 John 4:8, 16 KJV
8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
16 And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.
John 17:23, 24 KJV
23 I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.
24 Father, I will that they also, whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am; that they may behold my glory, which thou hast given me: for thou lovedst me before the foundation of the world.
I think that one of the most exciting things about finding out that you're expecting a baby is picking out a name. I know as a little girl I had lists of baby names as long as my arm. At one time I wanted 6 kids and had a name picked out for each one, I've even used a name or 2 off those lists written so many years ago. For as long as I can remember I've wanted to be a Momma. Sure there was a time when I wanted to be a doctor, a veterinarian, a pediatric nurse, a teacher, a writer, but the one thing that remained was my desire to be Momma to someone. I loved my children long before they were conceived, when they were only a dream in a young girl's heart.
The struggle to become a Momma was not something I anticipated. I don't think as a woman, that the thought that bearing children, doing what your body was made to do as only a woman's body can, will be a struggle. The thought that I might not be able to never even entered my mind when we decided to have babies. We only tried for 2 months before getting those 2 pink lines I had waited years to see. So when I miscarried just a week after learning I was pregnant, not only was I devastated, I was shocked and stunned as well. It was a curve ball I had never expected. One thing that I've carried with me is that I never had a chance to pick a name for my baby. We went and bought a dozen books on pregnancy, parenting and a huge baby name book the weekend we found out I was pregnant but I hadn't been able to choose a name before my dreams were extinguished and my heart broken. I had loved my baby long before he or she existed and yet I don't even have a name to call my baby by in my heart and prayers. But Isaiah 43:1 gives me a peace that fills my soul to overflowing. But now thus saith the Lord that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. My baby has a name, given to him by our very Creator and I look forward to the day when I can hold my precious baby in my arms and call him by his God given name.
That same baby name book is now scarred and dog earred from 4 more pregnancies. 4 beautiful names chosen with love. 2 of them I use daily, hourly, minutely...some days Kieran and Devlin seem to be the only words I utter, sometimes in frustration, exasperation, joyously, tenderly, but always lovingly. The other 2 names are whispered in my heart, in those quiet moments when it's just me and my Lord, when I pray that they know how much I love them still and how my arms ache to hold them. Oh what a glorious day it will be when I can worship at the feet of my Savior with my arms full of babies.
And yet I know how very loved the 3 of them are in Heaven. In John 17, Jesus is praying to his Father. He is praying that God love us as He has loved Jesus. Verse 24 tells us that God has loved Jesus before the foundation of this world. And so the very God that knows my name, my babies' names, has loved us as He has loved His Only Begotten Son. And knowing that, I cannot be sorrowful that I cannot have them here with me physically. 1 John 4 tells us that God is love, and to dwell in love is to dwell in God. So I may not be able to wrap my arms around them but I can dwell with them in God's precious, soul saving love. I can dwell in the knowledge that He knows my baby's name and He knows mine.
He Knows My Name
He counts the stars one and all
He knows how much sand is on the shores
He sees every sparrow that falls
He made the mountains and the seas
He's in control of everything
Of all creatures great and small
And He knows my name
Every step that I take
Every move that I make
Every tear that I cry
He knows my name
When I'm overwhelmed by the pain
And can't see the light of day
I know I'll be just fine
'Cause He knows my name
I don't know what tomorrow may bring
I can't tell you what's in store
I don't know a lot of things
I don't have all the answers
To the questions of life
But I know in Whom I have believed
He knew who I was when He carried my cross
He knew that I would fail Him but He took the loss
Every step that I take
Every move that I make
Every tear that I cry
He knows how much sand is on the shores
He sees every sparrow that falls
He made the mountains and the seas
He's in control of everything
Of all creatures great and small
And He knows my name
Every step that I take
Every move that I make
Every tear that I cry
He knows my name
When I'm overwhelmed by the pain
And can't see the light of day
I know I'll be just fine
'Cause He knows my name
I don't know what tomorrow may bring
I can't tell you what's in store
I don't know a lot of things
I don't have all the answers
To the questions of life
But I know in Whom I have believed
He knew who I was when He carried my cross
He knew that I would fail Him but He took the loss
Every step that I take
Every move that I make
Every tear that I cry
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