But thou, O Lord, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.
The Bible is a treasure trove. When I get in His Word, I never regret it. I learn something new every time I read my Bible. Even if I have read the same passage 100 times, something new will speak to my heart. His Holy Word is a living and breathing part of Him and if I want to get closer to Him I have to make the time every day to spend reading His Love Letter to me.
I found this verse in January when I was desperately seeking solace in the immediate aftermath of our miscarriage. It has become "my verse" and the verse for Help The Hurt Ministry. I did something after this most recent miscarriage that I didn't do after the first one or when we lost Lachlan, I turned to Christ for my comfort. I prayed and I cried out for comfort and understanding, I used Christian music to help soothe my soul, to just listen to and cry as the songs expressed my emotions, and I read my Bible.
This verse tells me that Christ is a shield for me. He is my shield, my protector. I think about my boys and what I would do for them if they were in any kind of danger, or were hurting or crying out for help. I would wrap my arms around them, pull them in tight against my chest and put my head on theirs, covering them with my body. Shielding them, protecting them, with all the strength and power I had in me. Now to think that in my pain of losing yet another precious baby, that is exactly what my Lord was doing for me. He wrapped me in His arms, pulled me in tight against His chest and laid His head upon mine. Loving me, protecting me, comforting me.
Psalms 3:3 tells me that Christ is my glory. I am still experiencing the fallout from the miscarriage. Various health issues that have sent me to the doctor as well as the mental impact it has had. After struggling for 18 months to conceive again after our first miscarriage, there is always the fear that we will struggle again to have a baby. There is the guilt and doubt, the worry and the shame, the feelings of inferiority and failure. Was it something I did, could I have prevented it, will it happen again, will I ever feel life growing in my womb again, I cannot even do the very thing that my body was designed to do, I am a failure at being a woman...But God...God tells me that He is my Glory. He is all I need. He is my magnificence, my splendor, my beauty, and my honor. If I fail at everything else in this life I will know I have done one thing right, I have accepted Him as my Savior and in doing that He has become my Glory.
He is the lifter up of mine head. Too often in these days of grief, in these days of doubt, in these days of learning how to be a Christ like Momma, I find my head hung low, my attitude lower, and myself in tears. My boys hang their heads in shame and guilt when they've done something wrong, they lower their heads with tears streaming down their faces when they're hurt, they tuck their chins to their chests when they're being shy or unsure of something. They mirror exactly what they see me do. But what does He do? He lifts up our heads, He wipes away the tears, He loves and comforts us as no one else can or ever will. He gives us the strength and reassurance that we need to live another day in service for Him, to bring glory and honor to His name because that is our purpose here. My purpose in this life is to not only raise my boys but to raise them to know Christ as their Savior, no other job is more important than pointing another soul to Christ, especially those of our children. If we don't show them who Christ is, the world will show them everything He isn't. And to do this I must keep my head held high and my focus on Him, for He is my Shield, my Glory, and the Lifter Up of Mine Head.
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