Advent Scripture Series: Week 4

Advent Scripture Series

Week 4

This Christmas, more than any other, I have tried to intentionally focus my heart on Christ. It has not always been easy. Life gets in the way of good intentions all too often. But I have tried to be in His Word every day, seeking out scriptures for this very series. And I have felt my heart changing, moving old bitterness aside, throwing worry out, and letting love take up the space, preparing the way for Him. It gets so stressful in the last few days before Christmas, don't lose sight of what the season is about now.There was no room for Him in the inn so long ago, don't let the same happen to your hearts. Make room for Him, prepare Him a place.

God's love was manifested towards us in that He sent His only begotten Son that we may have life and live through Him. He did not send His Son for us to forget, to deny, to reject. He sent Him because He loved us, because we were dying and heading straight for the hell we deserved. But He sent us His Son that starry night, to worship and adore. True Love born in a stable.

Every year since my oldest was born, I have read to them The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson. This year was no exception. And last night, as they lay peacefully sleeping, I finished reading the last few pages of the story of the Herdmans. 6 wild and rowdy children, who had never even heard the Christmas story. Not so much unlike my own boys would have been if God hadn't intervened and changed our lives so completely. This verse came to mind as I read. Herein is love...not that we loved God, but that He loved us. He loved us so much that He sent His Son to reconcile our sin, a debt that we could never ever repay otherwise. I finished reading the story in tears, as usual, but each time I read it, it means a little more.

"It suddenly occurred to me that this was just the way it must have been for the real Holy Family, stuck away in a barn by people who didn't much care what happened to them. They couldn't have been very neat and tidy either, but more like this Mary and Joseph (Imogene's veil was cockeyed as usual, and Ralph's hair stuck out all around his ears). Imogene had the baby doll but she wasn't carrying it the way she was supposed to, cradled in her arms. She had it slung up over her shoulder, and before she put it back in the manger she thumped it twice on the back.
I heard Alice gasp and she poked me. "I don't think it's very nice to burp the baby Jesus," she whispered, "as if he had colic." Then she poked me again. "Do you suppose he could have had colic?"
I said, "I don't know why not," and I didn't. He could have had colic, or been fussy, or hungry like any other baby. After all, that was the whole point of Jesus -- that he didn't come down on a cloud like something out of "Amazing Comics," but that he was born and lived...a real person."
--The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

My niece is almost halfway through her first pregnancy. Her little tummy is starting to round out and she is beginning to show. And today as our family gathered around the Christmas tree to open our gifts, her tiny, 8oz unborn son was not forgotten. In fact he was lavished in gifts. One might ask why, considering he is not even born yet. But Uriah Luke is loved beyond measure already. He has been hoped for, prayed for, and is anxiously awaited for. Again, one might ask why? Why do we love this tiny person who is entirely dependent on his Momma, who can serve us in no way, who will truly only bring many tears and heartaches during his life, who could be seen as a burden and a hindrance. We love Uriah because we love his Momma, we love his Daddy. This baby is one created in love and one who will bring so much joy and happiness to his family. This baby is one who was not created for serving but one to be served, to be looked after and cared for, one who will never have to worry about parents being angry and bitter about late night feedings and changings, a baby who will never lack for arms to hold him, to rock him, to hug him. Uriah who was created in spite of the burden, the tears and the heartaches that accompany us all in life, he was created because of the love, the joy, and the tears of happiness and full hearts he will bring. And he will love us because we love him so mightily.

You might be thinking of another baby this Christmas season, one born of entirely different circumstances. A baby born by miraculous, immaculate conception. Born to take on the sins of the world. Born to carry our burdens, count our tears, mend our broken hearts. Born because no service we could ever offer His Father would cover the sin debt that we owe. Jesus was a baby born because He first loved us, not because we loved Him. He loved us before we knew Him, even loves us as so many of us reject Him now. He loved us in spite of our shortcomings, our failures, our total dependence on Him. And He gave the greatest gift we could ever imagine...Salvation. He gave Himself.

And we love Him because He first loved us.

Advent Scripture Series: Week 3

Advent Scripture Series 

Week 3

As we drive ourselves crazy this Christmas trying to find the perfect gift for everyone on our list, let's remember the greatest Gift of all. The Gift that was given out of so much love. The Gift that was one of a kind, no duplicate to be found. The Gift that truly keeps on giving, eternally. The Gift that was given one starry night, in a little town called Bethlehem, to young parents thrust into parenthood by the Holy Ghost and entrusted by God with His only begotten Son, a Gift given so that we may have everlasting life.

Do you ever wonder why the Angel of the Lord appeared to a bunch of shepherds in a field, tending their flock of sheep? Who better to understand the significance of a perfect lamb? These poor shepherd boys has sheep coming out of their ears but the likelihood of finding a single one, without spot or blemish, perfect in every way, was probably next to none. I imagine they were bone weary and sleep deprived, having traveled far and wide to keep fresh food and water for their flock, keeping watch at night to protect them from predators and fighting them off when the need arose. But then the angel appeared, scared them to death, and delivered the most glorious news. A Savior had been born. A babe, wrapped in swaddling clothes and laying in a manger, a lamb of God, born to take away the sin of the world. The shepherds understood and they made haste to Him. They saw Him and then made known abroad what they had seen. They returned home, glorifying and praising God for all they had seen and heard. 

Glorify and praise Him this Christmas season. Don't let the significance of the Lamb of God go unnoticed. Don't let Him be overshadowed by tinsel and twinkling lights. Understand and make haste to Him.

Have you ever had someone take the blame for something you did? Has anyone ever stepped in and taken your rightly deserved punishment? I loved my little brother and my friends growing up but I'm nearly certain I never volunteered to get a whoopin' for any of them, unless perhaps I could somehow use it to my advantage. I never willingly or selflessly stood up and copped to a crime or broken rule, I didn't commit. To do so, takes a love so intense, its nearly unfathomable. As Mommas and Daddys we can understand though, that this love is real and true. Its the love you have for your children. Its a desire to want to keep them from all harms way, even if it is a rightly deserved punishment. That old saying "This is gonna hurt me a lot more than it hurts you" is all too true. 

But the love that it takes to let your only begotten Son, GIVE HIMSELF, as an offering and sacrifice, to atone for the sins of ungrateful and undeserving wretches like me, is simply boundless, immeasurable, infinite.

Focus on His love this Advent and prepare your hearts for His coming.

Wednesday night at Christmas play practice I could feel myself getting overwhelmed, quick and in a hurry. For those of y'all who direct your church play every year, God bless your hearts. This is my first year and may be my last. More than once I've found myself on the verge of tears, thinking "is this really worth it?" For a split second tonight while I sat trying to recite my lines and direct curtain closings and openings, songs ending and beginning, and characters entering and exiting, all while my babies sat and cried for me, I seriously considered just throwing my hands up and quitting. It was too much. But then as Mary began to read her lines and tell how overwhelmed she was when Gabriel appeared to her, how terrified she was, I began to calm down. As I sat there and listened to the characters run lines with each other I realized that He was there with us, just as he had been that long ago night in Bethlehem. Just as He was on Calvary.He was there, comforting, calming, consoling. He is with us each and every moment of every day, never leaving us, never forsaking us. So instead of getting overwhelmed, panicking or complaining, I'm going to remember that God is with us, and that the purpose of this Christmas play is to bring glory and honor to His name and nothing else. I'm going to remember why I started this in the first place, not because I knew it was going to be easy, but because I wanted to do it for Him. It's just a small thing really, it could never measure up to what He did for me on Calvary, but it is because I love Him and that is all He asks of me.

My boys are rough and tough, wild and rowdy. They drive me to the brink of crazy on most days. But they are the joy of my life. They are my true blessings from the Lord. And they are night and day different from one another. Kieran is my thinker, he can be quiet and shy, very sensitive, a leader. Devlin is noise with dirt on it, fearless, stubborn and outspoken, fiercely protective. I love them each to distraction. And I love that my God made each of them just the way they are. He knew exactly the personality and qualities they would possess. He knew exactly which buttons of mine they'd push and which nerves they'd fray. And He knew exactly how to use them to prepare my heart for His coming.
I wonder sometimes, how Mary felt as she raised Jesus, as she nursed Him in infancy, taught Him to walk, to talk, doctored boo boos, combed His hair and mended His clothes. Did she know that one day He would walk on water, heal the sick, raise the dead? Did she know that one day He would calm the storms with His hand, rule the nations, save mankind? He was the Lord of all creation this babe in swaddling clothes. He was the perfect Lamb of God this toddler running around her feet. And every time she kissed Him, she kissed the face of the Great I Am.
My boys may not be perfection but they are mine. God sent them to me just as He sent His Only Begotten Son to Mary. He had a reason, a purpose, a plan that only she could fulfill.
The Spirit of God made them, the breath of the Almighty gave them life and placed them in my womb. I will fulfill my plan and bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, preparing their hearts always for His return.

God. Is. Love. Let that sink in a minute. Love is a word that is tossed around and used for everything in sight. But if we are really honest we ourselves and with each other, love is about more than a favorite song, or sweater, or snack, it is about more than just stuff. Love is an emotion from deep within, one that is hard to express with mere words. It needs to be felt, to be seen, to be heard. Don't forget to express your love for those around you this Advent season. Don't get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the holiday and forget what we are truly celebrating, God's immeasurable love for us. Dwell in love this Christmas. Dwell in Him.

He didn't just come as a baby in a manger, to stay a baby in a manger. He didn't just decide to have the "human experience" simply for a change of pace. He became God in the flesh and walked among us with a purpose. That purpose was Redeem us!
"Living He loved me,
Dying He saved me,
Buried He carried, my sins far away.
Rising He justified, freely forever,
One day He's coming, oh, glorious day!"
-Casting Crowns

Advent Scripture Series: Week 2

Advent Scripture Series

Week 2

For many, the holidays are not a happy time. They're less a celebration and more a mourning. We may find ourselves weighed down by the could've beens, should've beens, would've beens. Hearts and minds may be hardened to the joy of the season, we may have forgotten what all we have to be thankful for. This is the purpose of Advent, to prepare our hearts for the celebration and the coming of Christ. It is an intentional focus on Christ in the 4 weeks leading up to Christmas. Truly though, each and every day of our lives should be spent in an Advent preparation. We should continually be preparing our hearts for His return. But for those of us who can't seem to find our Christmas spirits, who can't see through the tears of sorrow, or worry, we must remember that to celebrate His coming, we need to remember why He came. To give us life, to resurrect us! He is the Resurrection! The God that rolled the stone away from the tomb, is the same God that can break the cold stone away from our hardened hearts and give life blood to it once again. Though we may feel all hope is lost in whatever situation we are facing, if we believe in Him, though our spirits may feel dead, He will give us life!

In the midst of a holiday season rife with mythical creatures, it would seem that the world does not have difficulty believing in what they cannot see. Santa Claus is touted as the source of the magic of Christmas, elves in Toy Land busily crafting away toys for good boys and girls, and reindeer seem to know how to fly. It is amazing what a little imagination can dream up. But I am thankful this Christmas for a Savior that I know is real. I don't need wildly concocted tales to fuel some fabrication passed down for generations. I have my Divinely Inspired Bible, God's Holy Word, that tells me of my Savior's magnificent birth, His miraculous life, sacrificial death, and extraordinary resurrection. I can feel Him alive and working in my heart and soul, drawing me nigh to Him. I wait with anticipation, not for reindeer hooves on the rooftop, but to meet Him in the clouds in the twinkling of an eye. I am headed North, not for Santa's workshop, but heaven and homeward bound. Do you believe in the true magic of Christmas, Christ born of a virgin, come to save mankind from sin?

Tonight I am thinking of some special Mommas in my life who have borne the pain of losing a child. It is a pain unlike any other I've ever known. Soul shattering, heart breaking, mind numbing, crippling pain of a child taken from us all too soon. Yet in the midst of that pain is a another Momma's Son willing to bear it. A Son foretold of and born of a virgin, magnificent and perfect in every way. He came as a babe, wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. God Himself made flesh. And He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows. The Highest of highs is with us in our lowest of lows.

My sweet boys like to sleep with a night light at night. It's a comfort to them, keeps their fears at bay, reminds them they're in their very own big boy beds but not alone because they can see one another in the room they share and lights their path to our bed in the middle of the night. The little light isn't much but it does the job. Wouldn't it be nice if our adult fears were banished with just a little light? Wouldn't it be nice if just a dim light was enough to keeps the stress and worry monsters away? Wouldn't it be nice if a little light gave us a clear path to the comfort we need most? I've heard tale of a light that can do just that. A light that once shown so bright in the sky, that the shepherds and wise men followed it and found their Savior asleep in the hay of a manger in Bethlehem. That same light now resides in me as a child of the King. He came as a baby, was crucified a man. In His death, He gave life and light to men.

Have you ever tried to help someone who didn't want help? When try as you might they reject your help, your advice, your love? It doesn't seem to matter that you came only to help, to save them from themselves, the situation they're in, the world around them, and you want nothing in return but their love. You want only to hear them say "Yes, I need your help. I need your love. I believe in you and what you've done for me." Knowing that if they would just accept you instead of rejecting you, you could give them the power to change their life. Finally, most of us, will at some point give up, tired, weary, and discouraged.

I imagine Christ felt very much like this. Hated from His prophecy, hunted by a murderous king as an infant, despised during His ministry, and finally crucified out of hate and fear. The very people, His people, that He came to save, refused Him, denied Him. And yet, unlike us, in spite of being forsaken, He bore our sorrows and our pain. He shouldered our sins upon the cross. Beaten and bloody, He carried the cross up Calvary's hill, and willingly laid down His life, for all mankind. No exceptions.

As we celebrate His birth this Christmas season, let us remember the glory of His life, and the magnitude of love in His death.

A friend of mine just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, another friend just had a beautiful baby boy. And I love babies. I love everything about them. From the time I was just a little girl, I have been baby crazy. My niece is due at the end of May and I am so excited I can't hardly stand it. But thinking of her baby boy on the way and her becoming a mother for the very first time, reminds me of the first time I held my own boys. 

During my pregnancies, I had read everything I could get my hands on about what was going on inside my body, how my babies were growing, what to expect during labor...I felt prepared, I was ready, my body was made to do this. And then the baby was born and I realized that I hadn't read a single thing on what to do after he was born. Suddenly I was panicked. No one told me that breastfeeding was hard. No one told me that he would cluster feed for hours on end during the night. No one told me that the baby blues would play hard and fast with my emotions. I was a wreck. And yet, when I held my newborn son in my arms, when I quieted his cries with my touch and my voice, when I nourished him at my breast, there was nothing more perfect in my world. It's amazing what one tiny baby and the grace of God can do.

I don't know Mary's state of emotions that night in Bethlehem, after a long and tiresome journey, 9 months pregnant, laboring in a stable, surrounded by animals, but I imagine they were like any other first time Momma's. Excited, scared, overjoyed, overwhelmed, determined and discouraged. But with the birth of her Son, God's Son, came the very truth and grace she would need to be His Momma. That night, in a dirty stable, under imperfect conditions, God gave her His Perfect and Only Begotten Son, One who with His fullness would give me grace some 2,000 years later.

So often I hear a common misconception about Jesus and Christians. "Kendra found Jesus." "Brandon found Jesus." "Ole Kendra found Jesus and she don't come round here no more." (Yes, the grammar is on purpose. Just imagine my Southern twang and you'll understand).

Friends, I have some truth to impart. I didn't find Jesus. Brandon didn't find Jesus. I don't frequent the establishments I once did because I found Jesus. HE FOUND ME. 

For the Son of man came to SEEK and to SAVE that which was LOST. He came for no other reason than to seek out the sinners and to save them! Just as the Shepherd leaves the ninety and nine to seek and to save that one lamb that is lost, so my Savior did for me! He found me in a Sunday School room 23 years ago, crying because I knew I didn't want to be bad anymore and He moved right into my heart. And a dozen years later, when I strayed from the straight and narrow and I could not find my way back to Him on my own, He came again to find me. 

This Christmas season He is seeking you out. He has come to save you. Let Him find you, let Him save you, let Him dwell within you.

Advent & Anger

John 11:25-26 KJV

25 Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:

26 And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?

What is Advent? Advent is simply the intentional preparation of one's heart for the coming of Christ as a babe in Bethlehem. It is the Christmas season when we actively anticipate His promised return. Advent is a true longing for our Savior. 

But in the last several weeks I have been struggling. With everything it seems.  The holidays are hard for me. They seem to be a constant reminder of what could have been. This week marks a year since I found out I was pregnant with our 5th child and next month will mark a year since my miscarriage. I find myself imagining 5 cherub faces around a beautifully lit Christmas tree and my heart aches. This December also marked the 5th anniversary of Lachlan's stillbirth.

I can remember it as vividly as if it were yesterday though. The sounds, the smells, the sorrow.  And I remember the anger.  I know though that I'm not the first to be angry at the death of my loved one. 

John chapter 11 tells us of a pair of sisters, Mary and Martha, whose brother, Lazarus falls ill. The sisters send for Jesus. He does not come and Lazarus dies. Mary and Martha bury Lazarus and begin to mourn for their brother. Jesus comes 4 days after Lazarus had been buried. The sisters go to him, Martha alone at first, and again with Mary. Each of them greet Him with the same statement.

"Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died."

Martha and Mary were angry and hurt. Mary threw herself down at His feet, weeping.  So did I. "If you'd been here Lord, Lachlan wouldn't have died. If you'd loved me Lord, my son would be alive. Why'd you take him from me Lord?" I screamed these questions and more at Him for weeks. And then I stopped talking to Him altogether. My pain and anger had turned to bitterness and resentment. And unlike Martha, my faith was sorely lacking. 

"But I know, that even now, whatsoever thou wilt ask of God, God will give it thee." (John 11:22 KJV).

Martha had enough faith in her Savior that she had hope. She knew that whatever Jesus asked of His Father, God would give it. She hoped with her whole heart that He'd intercede and somehow give her brother back to her. And He did. He raised Lazarus from the dead. And forgave them their anger, forgave them their hurt. What Martha and Mary understood in a single day, took me years to understand. Jesus is the Resurrection, He is the Life and whosoever believeth in Him shall never die. 

Lachlan is buried in the midst of a beautiful daylily garden, under an apple tree at my parents' home. I go to visit him throughout the year, but on the anniversary of his stillbirth and his due date I take him a bouquet of flowers. I have always gone alone. But this year Brandon, Kieran and Devlin went with me. This year I introduced my sons to their brother. As I stood there, tears streaming down my face, I took the flowers, one by one, from the bouquet and my boys placed them on the angel that stands at Lachlan's grave. 

My tears were of sadness, of mourning, of longing but they were also of peace. The anger that once burned so bitterly inside my soul was gone. I could look upon my sons as they giggled with excitement over learning that they had a brother in heaven and feel His wonderful peace because I knew my firstborn lived again. He lives on in my heart and their laughter, in Brandon's love and my peace. Lachlan lives because I believe in a Savior who loves me enough to shed His blood on Calvary for my sins. Lachlan lives because I believe in a Savior who loves me even when I couldn't love Him. Lachlan lives because my Savior is the Resurrection and the Life, the Love and the Light of men. 

What better preparation for my heart and soul to long for my Savior's coming than to know my son and other babies will greet me also. 

How Sweet The Hour

How sweet the hour of praise and prayer,

When our devotions blend,

And on the wings of faith divine

Our songs of joy ascend!

’Tis then we hear in tones more clear

The gracious promise giv’n,

That, though we part from friends on earth,

We all shall meet in Heav’n.

We all shall meet in Heav’n at last,

We all shall meet in Heav’n;

Through faith in Jesus’ precious blood,

We all shall meet in Heav’n.

How sweet the tie of hallowed love

That binds our hearts in one;

When gathered in the blessèd name

Of Christ, the Father’s Son!

And though the parting soon may come,

Yet in His Word is giv’n

The blessèd hope that by and by

We all shall meet in Heav’n.

Yes, soon our worn and weary feet

Will reach the golden strand,

Where those we love our coming wait

In yonder summerland;

A few more days, a few more years,

By storm and tempest driv’n,

With songs and everlasting joy

We all shall meet in Heav’n.

Advent Scripture Series: Week 1

Advent Scripture Series

Week 1

The Christmas season has been my favorite since I was a child. It has always been magical, and not because of a man in a red velvet suit, I never believed in him anyway. Somehow Christmas makes me feel that much closer to my Savior. It is a time to remember how He came to us and why. And now as a Momma, picturing Him as an infant, vulnerable, pure, and precious, Mary nursing Him and comforting His cries, makes Him real, makes His sacrifice that much more meaningful. He came to us as a babe and died for us as a man.

And the Word was made flesh and dwelt among us. What powerful and moving scripture this is! And we beheld His glory. Let us not forget what this Christmas season is truly about.

Rejoice greatly! Shout! Our King cometh! He came as a babe and will come again. We must keep our eyes on Him, always anticipating His coming.

He is our light, even in the darkest night. Let us never forget to rejoice with exceeding great joy when we see His shining light! The wise men could see His light and knew they were in the presence of God while He was just a babe, laying in a manager. They came to Him when He was just an infant, 33 years before He would lay His life down in sacrifice for their sins, and still they traveled far and wide to see Him. Let us do the same this Christmas season. He has given His life to save ours, the least we can do is to give ours to worship Him with exceeding joy.

As we scramble for last minute gift ideas, run through the stores chasing sales, and do our best to top last year's gifts, let's keep in mind the wise men and their gift giving. They fell down and worshiped Him, this tiny babe in a manger, and then they presented Him their gifts to honor Him. They gave the very best they had, their treasures, in honor and reverence, not because it was on the Christ child's Christmas list. Let's be intentional in our gift giving, reminding ourselves and the recipient, of Christ and His free gift of salvation, paid for by His blood.

He shall be THE PEACE. Not just the temporary calm before the storm, but the eye of the storm, perfectly calm, still. The holiday season can sometimes be anything but peaceful. The celebrations can become obligations and more stress than they feel like they're worth. Find the time this Christmas to seek Him out, the man of peace, He will be worth it.

Mary had just received the most wonderful and terrifying news of her young life. The day Gabriel appeared to her was truly a day that would forever change the course of her life. And yet she reacted in the most amazing way. She magnified her Lord and Savior. She rejoiced in God. Her faith held strong and her joy was overwhelming. This Christmas season will not just be filled with trees and lights, parties and gifts. There will be sadness and sorrow for some, joy unspeakable for others. But let's remember our blessings, let's be humble, let's praise Him and worship Him throughout it all. Let's let our souls magnify Him.