The Names of God: El Olam

El Olam: The Everlasting God

Psalms 90:1-2

[A Prayer of Moses the man of God.]

1 Lord, thou hast been our dwelling place in all generations.

2 Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever thou hadst formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, thou art God.

Isaiah 40:28

Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding.

I like to do a series with the blog posts because it focuses my thoughts and writing rather than just writing about random thoughts. And I like the series posts because when I'm done with one I immediately begin thinking about the next. Sometimes this means I have the next post up in a couple of days but usually it's a week. But everyday for that week I am thinking about the next post in the series and how my life factors in to what I'm studying about. I know I probably sound redundant at times because I write about losing Lachlan and my other babies, about the changes in Brandon over the last 3 years, about my fears and dreams for my boys - but I can only write what I know, what I feel, what I see. I can only write my story because God has given it to me to use to glorify Him.

So this week as I thought about El Olam, the Everlasting God, and my story, I was overwhelmed at the magnitude of what this name of God means.

It simply means that God and all He is, all He represents, all of His promises are eternal, without end, lasting forever. His love. His mercy. His forgiveness. His grace. His compassion. His comfort. His shelter. His longsuffering. His glory. His goodness. His gentleness. His hope. His faith. His peace. His redemption. His righteousness. His joy.

We could never deserve Him. Never work to gain His favor. Never be good enough for His eternal and everlasting greatness. 

And yet in all His eternal majesty He still created us, still spared us from the flood, spared us from hell by sending His only begotten Son. He loved us more than we could possibly fathom. 

El Olam has been our dwelling place in all generations, from beginning to end. 

He fainteth not, neither is He weary. He never tires of hearing our problems but He deserves our praises. He never tires of comforting our sorrows but He deserves our sacred songs. He never tires of loving us in spite of our sins but He deserves our lives to be lived in fear and service, truth and love of Him.

There is no searching His understanding. We cannot know in this life why He chose to send Jesus to die for our sins, aside from eternal love. But He did choose to. Before the mountains were brought forth, before He formed the earth and world, the everlasting to everlasting God knew my story and chose to send His Son to die so that I could tell it. 

I Just Wanted You To Know

You made dry ground where once were oceans 

Where once were mountains You made them low 

Where there were stones, now there is water 

You satisfy my thirsty soul 

There's strength in knowing You are near me 

That peace that You, alone bestow 

I love You more today than ever and I just wanted You to know 

Where there is fear Lord You will hide 

when winds of danger around me roll 

I feel your arms of grace around me and I just wanted you to know 

All those times I've seen your glory 

And how You've conquered my every foe 

My love for you is overflowing 

And I just wanted-- Lord I just needed! 

My heart is longing for You to know... 

and I just wanted You to know

The Names of God: El Elyon

El Elyon: The Most High God

Genesis 14:19 KJV

And he blessed him, and said, Blessed be Abram of the most high God, possessor of heaven and earth:

I have had a difficult time this week determining just exactly where the Lord wanted me to go with this post. There were several ways I could have gone. 

I thought about addressing the abomination of the Bruce Jenner sex change. The Most High God does not make mistakes in creation. He knows us within our mother's womb, knows our very frame and the numbers of hair on our heads, He bottles the tears that we shed. He does not create us as females trapped in males bodies. The very idea of that someone suffers from this because they were born that way is ludicrous. It is a mental illness that should be treated as such.

I thought about the last 4 weeks in my family's life. My niece was hospitalized with high blood pressure at nearly 37 weeks pregnant and several stressful days later she welcomed a perfectly healthy, beautiful and tiny baby boy into the world. 2 of my great aunts, they are sisters, were diagnosed with cancer on the same day. Neither prognosis was good. We attended the funeral of 1 today while the other recovered from surgery at home. Last week I completed my first round of fertility treatments and now we begin the agonizing 2 week wait to take a pregnancy test. My Daddy and my Papaw are each having heart procedures done tomorrow. Routine procedures but heart surgery nonetheless. And El Elyon, the Most High God, the possessor of heaven and earth as Genesis 14:19 proclaims Him to be, is in control of it all.  Each and every situation. And yet it can be so hard to put our faith in Him when the most stressful moments of life are upon us. We so quickly forget what the Most High God is truly capable of.

But tonight, as I stood to hear the reading of God's Holy Word in our church service, the Holy Ghost whispered to me. My Pastor read from Hebrews 12:1-3, "Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds." El Elyon, the Most High God was brought to the lowest of low for you and I.  

The weight of this world, the sin and the abomination that bombards us through every media outlet available, the worries of this flesh life and body, need be laid aside. When we find ourselves gossiping about the sins of one celebrity or another, instead of praying about the sin in our lives or praying for their souls, we are weighting ourselves down. When we find ourselves in a panic or on the verge of a nervous breakdown about a family member's health, our own desires, or even the stresses of working and paying the bills, keeping the house clean and the yard mowed, we are weighting ourselves down. We cannot run the race that has been set before us with the weight of the world on our shoulders. 

So what must we do? 

We must look to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, the Son of El Elyon, the Most High God, and we must remember what was done for us. When we are wearied and faint we must remember what was endured for our sake. El Elyon came in the flesh as Christ Jesus. The Highest of Highs became as the lowest of lows when He was born as a babe in a manger. Though perfect and sinless, He was born into a world of sin and wickedness, He endured the cross and the contradiction of our sins upon His innocence. And He did it with joy. He did it so that when we are weary and burdened we can remember, we can feel it deep within our souls, His love and what His sacrifice means for us. It means that no matter how heavy the weight of this world is we do not have to bear it alone. We can cast it aside and look to Him, El Elyon, the Most High God.

The Names of God: El Shaddai

El Shaddai: The Almighty God

Psalms 91:1 KJV

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

Psalms 84:10-11 KJV

10 For a day in thy courts is better than a thousand. I had rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness.

11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.

Thursday night, I held my youngest son and cried myself to sleep, cried because of the cruelty of this world. Earlier in the evening I had been reminded of just exactly why I don't watch the news. The headlines and stories are heartbreaking, full of evil, and leave me physically sick thinking of how much my small town has now become like the world, they've become the same, no longer inseparable. No longer can I say I live in a Mayberry-esque town because the things that I read Thursday night don't happen in Mayberry. Parents in Mayberry loved their children. They protected them from all harm and taught them right from wrong. The parents in Mayberry didn't become the monsters hiding in the closet. Abuse, sexual, physical, or mental, was unheard of in Mayberry, unthought of. But the reality is that Mayberry was never real. Sheriff Andy Taylor never existed. Aunt Bee never cooked and cleaned the house while Opie was at school. Barney Fife never carried his single bullet in his pocket. Mayberry was too good, too innocent to be true. 

Today, children aren't safe in their own homes, aren't safe from their own parents and siblings, much less the strangers that live in their towns. The reality is that sin entered into the world with Adam and Eve and the majority of the generations of men living today have given up on fighting the evil battling to completely possess their hearts. What other explanation do we have for a "mother" to allow the sexual abuse of her own children and knowingly allow them to sexually abuse other children, innocents as young as 6 and 3 years old?

My first reaction to this news article was to call for a courthouse lynching, to string this woman up and send her straight to hell. But as I cried myself to sleep, clutching Devlin and breathing in his sweet baby scent, I found myself asking for forgiveness of those thoughts. What that woman did deserves eternal punishment, hellfire and brimstone, unending torment. But I was reminded that as a sin sick, flesh woman myself, I too deserve the same fate. No, my crimes, my sins, in no way amount to the sickness, evil, and dementedness that her actions do, but that doesn't matter because our fates were once the same. I would still be headed towards an eternity in flames where the worm dieth not, if not for El Shaddai, The Almighty God, The All-Sufficient God. El Shaddai, in His infinite love for us sent His only begotten Son to take our punishment. His sacrifice became sufficient for my sins and all I had to do was accept Him as The Almighty God, my Savior.

If she so chooses, this woman too, as vile and evil as I believe her to be, can find forgiveness, mercy, and grace, just as I did at the feet of The Almighty God. And the children involved will find love, pure, selfless, all encompassing love in El Shaddai. Though they have a lifetime of issues to work through, He is sufficient. His unending mercy and grace will be sufficient to see them through this lifetime until they are in His presence. I just pray that they have someone in their lives who loves them enough to introduce them to the Man who can be their strength and sustainer, El Shaddai.

The Names of God: Jehovah-LORD

Jehovah-LORD: "The Self-Existent One"

Exodus 3:14 KJV

And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you.

I think that there are several stages in a person's life when "Why" becomes their favorite question. I know my boys have certainly tested the limits of my patience with that question. And sometimes my favorite response is "Because I said so." And I imagine as they grow up and continue to test the boundaries their Daddy and I set for them, they'll continue to ask "Why" and my response will probably continue to be "Because I said so" or some variation. And as they continue to grow into adults and have disappointments and curiosities, they'll keep asking, and they may receive an answer and they may not. But eventually it's the "Whys" that drive us. They can drive us mad or they can drive us to action. They can drive us towards God or away from God. 

I've uttered the question in disbelief, I've screamed it in anger, I've groaned it in pain. And in those times the answer is the hardest to understand. Each and every time I have lost a baby, I've run the gauntlet of these emotions and I've wanted that one question answered.

This past week as I listened to a woman recount her friend's story of tragic stillbirth, I softly asked "Why Lord?" Why did He let her pregnancy reach 30 weeks and then call her baby girl home? Over the weekend I sobbed "Why Lord?" in crushed disappointment because I missed the birth of my first great-nephew. Why when He knew how much I wanted to be there for my niece did He keep me from her?  And as I sat tonight and heard a sweet friend confide in me her loss of a precious baby boy 11 years ago, I wondered "Why Lord?" Why has she had to carry the burden of this loss alone all these years? 

I think as a Christian the "Whys" are harder to deal with than any other question because we have to have faith that He has a perfect will for each and every one of us. It's not as simple as asking "Why does the Earth revolve around the Sun?" or "Why do earthquakes happen?" We can't just pull up Google and ask God why life happens the way that it does. But we can turn to His Word and find comfort. The great I AM sent me each and every one of my babies, just as He sent Moses to lead the children of Israel out of bondage. And when they fulfilled their earthly purpose He called my babies home again, just as He'll do with Kieran and Devlin when they fulfill their purpose for Him, just as He did with Moses, just as He does with us all. Each positive pregnancy test was not a promise of a life here on earth with that baby but an eternity spent worshiping my Jesus side by side with my baby. We are never promised eternal life here on earth but in a perfect Heaven with a perfect Father when we accept His perfect Gift.

We may never have an answer for our "Whys" here on this earth but we can have faith that the Self-Existent One, the great I AM, has a true and perfect answer.

The Eternal Life

(to the tune of Auld Lang Syne)

It singeth low in every heart,

We hear it each and all;

A song of those who answer not,

However we may call.

They throng the silence of the breast;

We see them as of yore;

The kind, the true, the brave, the sweet,

Who walk with us no more.

 ’Tis hard to take the burden up,

When these have laid it down;

They brightened all the joy of life,

They softened every frown.

But, Oh, ’tis good to think of them

When we are troubled sore;

Thanks be to God that such have been,

Though they are here no more.

 More home-like seems the vast unknown

Since they have entered there;

To follow them were not so hard,

Wherever they may fare.

They cannot be where God is not,

On any sea or shore;

Whate’er betides, Thy love abides,

Our God, forevermore.

5 Crowns of the Christian Life: The Crown of Glory

The Crown of Glory

1 Peter 5:1-4
1 The elders which are among you I exhort, who am also an elder, and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, and also a partaker of the glory that shall be revealed: 
2 Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight [thereof], not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind; 
3 Neither as being lords over [God's] heritage, but being ensamples to the flock. 
4 And when the chief Shepherd shall appear, ye shall receive a crown of glory that fadeth not away. 

The Pastor’s crown; it is given to the ministers who faithfully feed the flock of God and possibly includes all those who teach the Word of God in their respective ministries.

One of the greatest blessings about having children, is watching them learn about the Lord and His love for them. Seeing the smiles on their faces as they boldly and proudly proclaim that Jesus lives in their heart is one of the most joyous moments in a parent's life. To a child who is pure and innocent, there's no need to wonder about why they can't see Jesus because they can feel Him, they trust in Him, and they love Him. My boys are only 2.5 and 4 years old, and even though they don't quite understand what Salvation is, they are preparing their hearts for Him to move right in. But there was a time when I feared my boys would never know the truth of Jesus. 

One of the hardest things for me after Kieran was born was the worrying I did about how to teach Him about the Lord. Brandon and I were at odds over the ins and outs of religious doctrine and faith. For years there was painful tension anytime the Bible was brought up. So even though I went with him to "Bible study" with his family, I ignored what was being taught and I studied on my own. I hated getting into debates with him about doctrine and theory. We would just argue in circles, neither of us giving in. And we would finally just call it quits with "as long as you believe Jesus Christ died on the cross for your sins that's all that matters."  I never doubted Brandon's Salvation, just his upbringing. 

So for the whole first year of Kieran's life I worried. And I did my best to keep us out of "Bible study." I believe the Lord had a hand in Kieran's naptime being precisely when study began, and me being a vehement believer in never waking a sleeping baby. But I had no idea what the solution to the problem was. I was terrified that taking Kieran to church would mean the end of my marriage. So I didn't bring it up. I didn't talk about taking him to church, I didn't sing Jesus Loves Me to him, I didn't pray with him, I didn't teach him from the moment he was born about the Man who gave His life to save his. I failed Kieran. I failed him miserably because I was afraid of the fight it would be to take him to church. 

I will thank the Lord everyday from now until I die, that I never had to have that fight and that my boys never had to face a future without Jesus. Just after Kieran turned a year old, and I was 5 months pregnant with Devlin, God moved in such a mighty way in our lives. Within a week, our life had been completely transformed. Yes, we lost a lot in the transformation, but we gained so much more. My boys may have lost one set of grandparents but they have gained the chance to learn about and accept eternal life, a chance that they likely would not have had. 

It has been 3 years since we have rededicated our lives to the Lord. 3 years of being back in church, growing in the Lord, and living a Christian life. So many things have changed in the last 3 years. Brandon answered his call to preach and is preaching his first revival in less than a week. He is a Sunday school teacher and he sings in the choir. He founded Help The Hurt Ministry and supported me in starting this blog. Now the only argument we have about the Bible is who gets to lead the family devotion at bedtime. 

Not only do our boys now have parents united in a love for Jesus but they also have a whole host of extended church family. They are surrounded by people who love the Lord and who love them, who teach them and minister to them. They are excited to go to church, and not just for the snacks Nanna Sharon brings them in Sunday School. Devlin loves to sing about Calvary and even though Kieran is shy and won't stand up in front of the congregation to say his Bible verse, he is listening and paying attention while the Pastor preaches and he is learning. They have relationships within the church with strong Christian men and women that they never would have had if God had not moved and worked in such an astounding way. They have a relationship with their Nanna and Poppa that I am so thankful for. There is a bond and a love there that grows each and every day. They will never lack for love.

So I may be wrong but I do believe that Crown of Glory is not only given to the God called preachers who have faithfully served as Pastors but also to the “elders” in Christian life. The deacons, the Sunday School teachers, the Song leaders, missionaries, evangelists, young preachers who are doing a service each and every day for the Lord, the men and women that my boys look up to, learn from and love. I also believe this crown is for those Mommas and Daddys who may not hold a position in their church but who teach their children and nurture and raise them in the admonition of the Lord, who make the chaotic and stressful trip to church with infants and toddlers and sullen teenagers because it matters, because even at 3 months, 3 years, or 13 years they need Jesus to permeate their lives. For the grandparents who pray unceasingly for the lost and backslid in their families, who love the unlovable, and who teach simply by living for Jesus. For the older generation in the churches who are teaching the younger generations what hard work means, what faithful and long lasting marriages mean, what living a testimony for Christ means. 

Each and every one of us have a ministry in our lives and it is up to us to faithfully and intentionally live out Christ’s love for us for the world to see Him in us. As C.S. Lewis says, we must shine, not so that others can see us, but so that others can see Him in us.

  

5 Crowns of the Christian Life: The Crown of Righteousness

The Crown of Righteousness

2 Timothy 4:8
Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing. 

This crown is for those who look for the appearing of Christ, who anxiously await and look forward to the day when He will return for His saints. It is given to those who have lived a good and righteous life for God while here on this earth.

Before this past Christmas, I honestly did not know what Advent meant. I had seen DIY Advent Calendars on Pinterest, counting down the days until Christmas. But I didn't really think that is what Advent meant in the spiritual sense, little chocolates in calendar pockets. So I did a little bit of studying and learned that Advent is the preparation of our hearts for Christ’s coming. It is generally celebrated in the four weeks leading up to Christmas but truly Advent should be celebrated year round. We should continually be preparing our hearts for Him, looking for His coming, and love knowing that just any minute He could appear. We should be like kids waiting for Christmas morning.

There is an evangelist that Brandon and I like to listen to and one night on the way to church we were listening to him preach a message. In that message he told a story and it was so powerful and so convicting that I will never forget it. It went like this:

There was a man, a preacher, who went on a mission trip to Africa. He went with several other preachers and men of God, to preach the Gospel and spread Christ's love. After being there many days, they made one last stop before preparing to return home to the States. They stopped at an orphanage for mentally handicapped and disabled children, hoping to present the Word of God to them. The director led them on a tour of the home first, before meeting the children. The house was in immaculate condition, the men could've eaten breakfast right off the floor...except for one low corner window that faced the road in the front room of the house. Intrigued, one of the preachers asked the director why that window was so dirty, smudged and streaked with fingerprints, when the rest of the house was spic and span. She looked at him, and then looked at the children playing around them in the house and she told him that there was something that he needed to know. This group of missionaries he was with was not the first group of missionaries to pass by their little orphanage. Other men of God had been that way before and had told the children of a man named Jesus who loved them in spite of their imperfections, who loved them when they had been abandoned by everyone else, who loved them enough to shed His blood at Calvary for them and that He would return for them one day, to take them to an eternal home. The director looked from the children to the window and back to the men and told them that the window was so dirty because every morning after breakfast, those children crowded around that window, pressing their faces and hands to the glass, and they watched down the road for the man named Jesus who loved them enough to die for them. They waited and they watched for Him to come and take them home.

I can not think of a more beautiful description of what the receiver of the Crown of Righteousness looks like, lives like, loves like. Those precious children, whose minds weren't clouded and corrupted by the world, whose innocence was pure and sweet, they understood what so many of us can't. They understood that salvation is just that simple, that beautiful, that loving. They understood that all they needed to do was to believe that He had shed His blood just for them and believe that He would return for them one day. They believed so wholeheartedly that they sat, waiting and watching for Him every single day.

What have I done today? Have I thanked Him for His sacrifice for me, for my children, for the world around me? Have I shared His love with anyone today? Have I waited and watched for Him with the anticipation of a child on Christmas? Because what He did for me was a gift, a priceless gift. Do I cherish it enough to anxiously await His coming? 

I want to live my life in a season of continual Advent, preparing my heart for His return. I want to be there, with my face and hands pressed to the glass, anxiously awaiting Him when I hear that trumpet blow and I see Him step out on the clouds. I want to know that He has laid up for me in heaven a Crown of Righteousness.

5 Crowns of the Christian Life: The Crown of Rejoicing

The Crown of Rejoicing

1 Thessalonians 2:19-20

19 For what [is] our hope, or joy, or crown of rejoicing? [Are] not even ye in the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ at his coming? 

20 For ye are our glory and joy. 

This crown is given to those who faithfully and joyfully are witnesses to the saving grace of God and whose lives point men to Jesus.

Today the little boy in this picture turned 4 years old. It is so hard to believe how fast the time has slipped by me. Those itty bitty newborn outfits, no bigger than a baby doll would wear, have been replaced by grass stained blue jeans and dinosaur t-shirts. Baby rattles and pacifiers replaced by Legos and anything that roars.

Tonight as I sang him to sleep and he clutched his brand new toys, my heart was remembering and rejoicing. Remembering the aching emptiness it had once felt and rejoicing at the overwhelming fullness if feels now. 

Oh that day felt like it would never come. Disappointment, sadness and heartbreak had paved the way for worry, sickness, and anxiety. 20 weeks of bedrest, blood pressure medicine, and endless tests, made for a long and difficult pregnancy. A grueling labor, failed epidurals, and a painful c-section all culminated in one of the most glorious moments of my life. Hearing Kieran cry for the first time, knowing that this time I would be leaving the hospital with a baby to raise instead of one to grieve, was a moment that gave clarity to everything I had endured up to that moment and one I'll never forget.

You see in that moment I loved my son with a fierceness that I couldn't quite comprehend. I had loved him while he was in my womb but up until that moment when he cried, he'd really only been a dream, a dream I had been waiting for so long to come true. But there he was and as I held him to my breast to nurse, as I cradled him throughout the night, as I meticulously charted his feedings and diaper changings, I began to understand all that I had endured. I understood that now, having had my dreams turn to nightmares before, that I would love him more deeply and protect him more mightily than I'd ever imagined possible.  He needed me. And I needed Jesus. 

There have been a lot of changes take place in our lives over the last 4 years, and though there have been hard times and sad times, my heart has been rejoicing at what the Lord did for us when Kieran was born. We had been living in sin, we were out of the will of God, and we were headed for disaster. But when I heard Kieran's first cries, the Lord made a change in my heart. If I hadn't been willing to turn back to Christ for myself, I was now responsible for someone else's soul. And in that instant my heart made a vow to my Savior that I would protect him with all I had in me and with all that He could give me. 

It was just after Kieran's first birthday when we attended church for the first time as a family and it was amazing, near miraculous, that change that took place in our lives.

Now instead of living in the past and wallowing in our sin sick lives, we are rejoicing at what is to come. Now instead of focusing on the wickedness that this world has to offer, we are doing our best to point our children towards Jesus in our rejoicing, in our praise, in our love of Him. Now instead of working our way through a 6-pack, we are collecting Crowns by living Christ centered lives full of rejoicing. We are rejoicing in our hearts that the Lord will save Kieran's soul some sweet day just as He has saved ours, we are rejoicing in our hearts that the Lord is coming again for us one happy day, and we are rejoicing in our hearts that one wonderful day our family will be whole again in the presence of our Savior. 

~~~***~~~

We don’t know what the future holds, nor what the purpose of our past is until the Lord uses our story to bring glory and honor to His name. Be joyful in your life, you don’t know who is watching or what testimony you are leaving behind.

Advent Scripture Series: Week 1

Advent Scripture Series

Week 1

The Christmas season has been my favorite since I was a child. It has always been magical, and not because of a man in a red velvet suit, I never believed in him anyway. Somehow Christmas makes me feel that much closer to my Savior. It is a time to remember how He came to us and why. And now as a Momma, picturing Him as an infant, vulnerable, pure, and precious, Mary nursing Him and comforting His cries, makes Him real, makes His sacrifice that much more meaningful. He came to us as a babe and died for us as a man.

And the Word was made flesh and dwelt among us. What powerful and moving scripture this is! And we beheld His glory. Let us not forget what this Christmas season is truly about.

Rejoice greatly! Shout! Our King cometh! He came as a babe and will come again. We must keep our eyes on Him, always anticipating His coming.

He is our light, even in the darkest night. Let us never forget to rejoice with exceeding great joy when we see His shining light! The wise men could see His light and knew they were in the presence of God while He was just a babe, laying in a manager. They came to Him when He was just an infant, 33 years before He would lay His life down in sacrifice for their sins, and still they traveled far and wide to see Him. Let us do the same this Christmas season. He has given His life to save ours, the least we can do is to give ours to worship Him with exceeding joy.

As we scramble for last minute gift ideas, run through the stores chasing sales, and do our best to top last year's gifts, let's keep in mind the wise men and their gift giving. They fell down and worshiped Him, this tiny babe in a manger, and then they presented Him their gifts to honor Him. They gave the very best they had, their treasures, in honor and reverence, not because it was on the Christ child's Christmas list. Let's be intentional in our gift giving, reminding ourselves and the recipient, of Christ and His free gift of salvation, paid for by His blood.

He shall be THE PEACE. Not just the temporary calm before the storm, but the eye of the storm, perfectly calm, still. The holiday season can sometimes be anything but peaceful. The celebrations can become obligations and more stress than they feel like they're worth. Find the time this Christmas to seek Him out, the man of peace, He will be worth it.

Mary had just received the most wonderful and terrifying news of her young life. The day Gabriel appeared to her was truly a day that would forever change the course of her life. And yet she reacted in the most amazing way. She magnified her Lord and Savior. She rejoiced in God. Her faith held strong and her joy was overwhelming. This Christmas season will not just be filled with trees and lights, parties and gifts. There will be sadness and sorrow for some, joy unspeakable for others. But let's remember our blessings, let's be humble, let's praise Him and worship Him throughout it all. Let's let our souls magnify Him.

The Beatitudes: Blessed Are The Persecuted

Matthew 5:10-12
10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

Brandon and I have always planned on homeschooling our boys. But they're only 2 and 3 years old and I haven't begun to stress about what that really means for my sanity yet. So when I write about our homeschooling experience in 2 to 3 more years I may be singing a different tune. Lord willin' and a whole lot of prayer I believe, will make it an amazing journey though. For now, our oldest is in a pre-school program that meets twice a week, for a total of 3 hours. He is getting used to the idea of school and how to sit still and pay attention, as well as learning and making friends. His teacher is a family friend and there are only 8 other 3 and 4 year olds in his class. Next year, our youngest will join him. We feel like this is a safe environment and have been so happy with his experience thus far.

One of the biggest reasons we had decided not to send them to public school was the fear of what they would be exposed to and how they would be treated. Some may consider sheltering their children a bad thing, they may believe that learning from the school of hard knocks is just a way of life. But we disagree. Sheltering our boys is our job as parents. Teaching them about Christ is our number 1 priority and if it doesn't line up with the Word of God, then they don't need to see it, hear it, read it, say it, or know it. I want my boys to be so saturated in Jesus Christ that when a mosquito bites them, it flies away singing "There's power in the blood!" 

I realize that this is an unpopular opinion, that there are those that believe homeschooling is archaic, that my boys will have the social skills of cavemen and be uneducated rednecks. And I hate to tell them that I have 2 of the most rough and tumble, wild and rowdy boys around and I don't really expect them to walk upright or do more than grunt until the Holy Ghost gets ahold of them. I'm kidding of course. Well, kind of. But if this were true and my choices were to have knuckle dragging, club wielding, one grunt for "no", two grunts for "yes" sons and sons that had been exposed to foul language, sex, violence, false doctrine, immorality, and bullying all by the time they finished kindergarten, can you guess which sons I'd choose? 

The fact of the matter is that the world is and always has been hostile to Christians. We are cautioned and reminded that we are not of the world, only in the world. I want my boys to be rooted and grounded in their faith before I send them out on their own into a world that hates them simply because they serve Christ as Master and Savior. 

To be truthful and 100% honest, it is our fear of persecution that has lead us to a homeschooling decision. To persecute only means to pursue with harassing or oppressive treatment, especially because of religion, race, or beliefs; harass persistently, to annoy or trouble persistently. We have probably all faced that at one time or another in our spiritual lives, either by Satan or people we know at work, at school, or perhaps like Brandon and I, by relatives. And of course where you were in your relationship with the Father at the time of your persecution, greatly influenced the outcome. And it is this that we worry about as parents. Our boys have not accepted Christ as their Savior yet. They are under the age of accountability and thus innocent. It is now, while their innocence remains that we fill their lives with Jesus, so that when the Holy Ghost does beckon them, they will want to accept Him. Because if faced with spiritual persecution by their peers or adults in positions of authority before they have accepted Christ into their hearts, the damage could be spiritually fatal.

The persecution I have faced as a Christian is trivial compared to what the apostles suffered, those who were martyred for their beliefs in Christ, and what Christ Himself suffered for you and I. But I could be self-righteous and boastful and tell you that I could withstand being tortured, beaten, burned alive, beheaded or crucified for Christ's sake. I could. But I'd be lying. I can truthfully say though, that I want with all that I am to be able to if ever faced with that situation. I want to be able to withstand, having done ALL to stand for my Savior. And I know that to do that I must continue to grow spiritually. I must read and study and worship and praise my God continually in preparation of a day such as that. 

And I must prepare my boys. And I must let nothing stand in the way of that. God has blessed our family with the ability for me to be a stay at home Momma and I believe I need to take advantage of that and use my time to instill godly principles in my children. I know well that not every family is in the same set of circumstances that we are. This post is not meant to belittle any family that sends their children to public schools. But it is meant to say that we must prepare our children for the persecution they will face in the world for their beliefs. We have to teach our children what it means to be unashamed of our Savior. We have to teach them with our words and with our actions. One without the other is not enough because in a world such as we live in, persecution is inevitable. 

2 Timothy 3:12 
Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.

I pray to God that it never happens, but were it to, I want my boys to stand mightily as Stephen did. 

Acts 7:55-56
55 But he, being full of the Holy Ghost, looked up stedfastly into heaven, and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing on the right hand of God,
56 And said, Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of man standing on the right hand of God.

He kept his eyes on God and His Son and he met them in Their Kingdom.

The Beatitudes: Blessed Are The Merciful: Part 2

Matthew 5:7 KJV

Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.

In Part 1 of this post on being merciful, I wrote about taking a stand against abortion and showing mercy to those innocent babies who desperately need it. Tonight I want to write about the other side of the coin. The women who abort. 

I had never given the women much thought, other than to think them despicable and vile. But since beginning this Ministry, my viewpoint has changed. I've come to realize that these women don't need my condemnation. They need my love, my comfort, and most importantly my prayers and my Savior. 

There are few women who have abortions that come out of them unscathed and emotionally whole. The full weight of what they have done and the regrets, the sadness, the remorse and depression begin to set in. Perhaps not immediately, but it does. 

I have stood crying with a woman while she bared her soul to me, telling me of her abortion. She, like me, had been thrilled when her pregnancy test turned positive. But then the crushing weight of her husband's infidelity and demands to have an abortion broke her. I stood crying with her as she told me of her fear to conceive again with her new husband. A very real fear that as her punishment, the Lord would let her conceive only to miscarry. I held her and told her of my sweet Savior's forgiveness and mercy. 

She had made the only choice she thought she could in the situation she was in. I don't condone, justify, or even comprehend how she could make such a decision, yet I don't need to to offer her, and the millions of others just like her, mercy.   

In taking a stand against abortion, we must extend mercy and grace to the women who choose abortion. We must counsel them with love and forgiveness and teach them that there is a better way.  We must educate our young girls and women about the consequences of premarital sex and the dangers of abortion. We must be proactive in our fight against abortion, in prayer, in changing our laws, in giving the millions of babies a voice.

I have never had an abortion, yet I understand all too well the pain of losing a child. It is debilitating, life altering, nearly life ending for me. The weight of the guilt that I may have done something to cause my babies to die was nearly unbearable. To think of the pain that millions of women are in because they know they took the life of their child is a staggering thought. 

My only lifeline was my Jesus. These women need Jesus. Whether they are lost and don't know Him as their Savior, or have salvation and have wandered off the righteous path, Jesus is the answer, He is the cure for their pain, the balm for their sorrows. By extending our love and mercy to these women, we let Christ's light shine through us. A light that they are in desperate need of. 

I was once in need of that light, that mercy. And I thank God every day for sending His Only Begotten Son to extend that mercy to me, to shed His blood on Calvary so that I would be reunited with Him and my babies in Heaven some glad day.

Charles Spurgeon said this, "Have you no wish for others to be saved? Then you are not saved yourself. Be sure of that."

Having been redeemed myself, I cannot begrudge Christ's mercy for another's soul. In fact, I must actively seek to lead them to Christ for blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy.

Matthew 9:13 KJV

But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

The Gospel

Psalms 3:3 KJV 
But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.

Psalms 62:5 KJV
My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.

Today I viewed the funeral of a 17 year old young man, taken tragically and unexpectedly from his family. I witnessed the sheer amount of love for him and the staggering volume of lives that his had impacted. As his Pastor said, Eleck lived much in such a short amount of time. He lived much for his Savior and his passion and his testimony have brought a community together like only the shared love of Jesus Christ can do.

As I sat with my boys and watched the service, holding them tight and thanking God for another day with them, the Pastor quoted Eleck and said "The Gospel is not about what is being done, it's about what's already been done." The weight of those words hit me and new tears sprang forth. The Gospel is about what my Lord and Savior did for me on Calvary. I'm not awaiting trial with no defense, I'm not awaiting a midnight death row pardon, I'm not sitting in purgatory waiting to be prayed out and into heaven. It is finished. I have been forgiven. He willingly gave Himself as a sacrifice to pay my sin debt long before I even existed because He already loved me. He didn't have to wait until I was born, until I was already filthy with sin, He didn't have to wait until I made the choice to love and accept Him as my Savior. He had already made the choice and signed my pardon.

The Gospel isn't about anything I'm doing or you're doing. It's about what He did and has promised to do. He has promised to return to us with a shout, to meet us in the air. He has prepared for us a place and He is coming again to take us there. And until then our souls wait only upon Him.  We live in the expectation of His promises and His sacrifice, we live by our faith, we spread His Gospel, and we thank Him for His glory.

O Lord, thank you. Thank you for being my shield and my protector from all harm's way, thank you for your sheltering arms. Thank you for being my glory, my light, my purpose. Thank you for lifting my head when it hurts to even get out of bed. Thank you for lifting my head to cast my eyes upon your majestic face. Thank you for lifting my head so that I can see your love and your sacrifice. Thank you.
In Jesus Sweet Name I Do Pray,
Love You Jesus,
Amen

Living By Faith

I care not today what the morrow may bring,

If shadow or sunshine or rain,

The Lord I know ruleth o’er everything,

And all of my worries are vain.

Though tempests may blow and the storm clouds arise,

Obscuring the brightness of life,

I’m never alarmed at the overcast skies—

The Master looks on at the strife.

Living by faith in Jesus above,

Trusting, confiding in His great love;

From all harm safe in His sheltering arm,

I’m living by faith and feel no alarm.

I know that He safely will carry me through,

No matter what evils betide;

Why should I then care though the tempest may blow,

If Jesus walks close to my side.

Our Lord will return for His loved ones some day,

Our troubles will then all be o’er;

The Master so gently will lead us away,

Beyond that blest heavenly shore.

Living by faith in Jesus above,

Trusting, confiding in His great love;

From all harm safe in His sheltering arm,

I’m living by faith and feel no alarm.

The Beatitudes: Blessed Are Those Which Do Hunger and Thirst

Matthew 5:6 KJV
Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.

This morning I woke up as normal. Bright and early to two beautiful blond, blue-eyed boys. We went about our morning routine: potty, breakfast, Annabelle's breakfast (the 6 month old eats-me-out-of-house-and-home German Rottweiler puppy that my boys adore even if she does dwarf them in size and weight), cartoon time and my time to catch up on all that happened in the 6 hours of sleep I was able to get. Nothing unusual this morning. I scrolled through Facebook, mentally noting the prayer requests I came across, silently asking God to do His will in the situations. Then my phone vibrated with a text message. Another prayer request for a local family who lost their 17 year old son in a fatal car accident this morning. I knew the family, though not well, but knew many people who were very close to the family and their son. My heart began to break for his family and loved ones. A tragedy such as this is unimaginable. I prayed for the Lord to comfort his family as only He can. 

I thought about them throughout the day and tonight as I prayed with my boys and tucked them into bed, I thought about the boy.

I thought about him and his Momma and how I would feel if I were in her place. And the thought came to me as I kissed my boys goodnight, that we never know what the morning holds, much less the next minute. And if I were in this Momma's place, the one thing I would want to know for certain is that my boys had accepted Christ as their Savior. I would want to know that I had done everything in my power to show them Christ's love, to walk in His righteous path, to live in the Spirit and to direct them to Him. I would want to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they loved the Lord Jesus with all their heart and believed that He was crucified on Calvary for their sins. I would want to know that I had so hungered and thirsted after His righteousness that my boys hungered and thirsted too. I would want to know that when He filled me up it overflowed and filled my babies up too. If I had to trade places with that Momma and think for a single second that I had not done every single thing humanly possible to lead my sons to the Lord, if I thought that there was even the slightest chance they did not have the full pardon of salvation, I would not be able to live another day. 

Our number one priority as a parent should be to raise our children to know the love of their Savior. If we never did another thing right but to see our children accept Christ as their Redeemer, then we'd have done the most important thing right.

Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be filled.

Lord,
I pray tonight that you be with this family who has lost their son, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin, high school sweetheart, and friend. Lord I pray that they seek Your Face for comfort and for guidance. I pray Lord that they have the security in knowing their son was one of Yours, a Child of the King. I pray Lord that his death not be in vain, I pray that in seeking solace in this tragedy that some lost sinner may find You and Your Redeeming Grace. 

Lord I pray tonight and every night that you would take my hand and lead me, guide me, show me Your way. Show me how to be a godly Momma, wife, daughter, and servant. Show me how to raise my boys in Your glory and admonition. Lord I pray that when the time is right, when You prick their hearts and beckon them to come to You, that they not hesitate a single second. I pray Lord to always hunger and thirst after righteousness and to be filled by your presence in Heaven some sweet day with my boys by my side.

In Jesus Sweet Name I Do Pray,
Love You Jesus,
Aman

Child of the King

Once I was clothed in the rags of my sin,

Wretched and poor, lost and lonely within.

But with wondrous compassion, the King of all kings,

In pity and love, took me under His wings.

Oh, yes, oh yes, I'm a child of the King

His royal blood now flows in my veins.

And I who was wretched and poor now can sing

Praise God, praise God, I'm a child of the King.

Now I'm a child with a Heavenly home,

My Holy Father has made me His own.

And I'm cleansed by His blood, and I'm clothed in His love,

And some day I'll sing with the angels above.

Oh, yes, oh yes, I'm a child of the King

His royal blood now flows in my veins.

And I who was wretched and poor now can sing

Praise God, praise God, I'm a child of the King.