The Names of God: Jehovah-Shalom

Jehovah-Shalom: The LORD Our Peace

Judges 6:24 KJV
Then Gideon built an altar there unto the LORD, and called it Jehovahshalom: unto this day it is yet in Ophrah of the Abiezrites.

Romans 5:1 KJV

Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:

Philippians 4:9 KJV

Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

The Lord truly works in mysterious ways. Sometimes, even when I have the best intentions to get a blog post up, it just does not happen. When I finish one, I immediately begin thinking and praying about the next one. So when it takes a few days, even a week, or when a week turns to two, I start to stress and worry about getting it written. I do not ever want to grieve the Spirit, but I don't want to rush it either. So this post has taken some time to write and I couldn't figure out why until tonight. 

Last Sunday morning in our Sunday School class we studied Joshua. We have been doing a survey of the Old Testament and covering a book each week. As we sat there last week, listening to the man of God teach the lesson, I started writing the blog. I was inspired and I needed to get the words down before I forgot them. I carry a small notepad in my Bible to keep notes on Brandon's messages. I grabbed it and started to quickly scribble this:

God commanded the Hebrew children through Joshua to be strong and of good courage three times in the first nine verses of Joshua chapter one and a fourth time by the chapter's end. He tells them that He will not fail them or forsake them, that He is with them everywhere they go. We can find peace in Jehovah-Shalom in these verses today, even as Gentiles. We have been adopted into the family of God by accepting Salvation. Just as He told the Hebrews not to be dismayed, or afraid, He is with us! He is with us whithersoever we goest! 

I could end the post there because we can have the same assurance that Joshua gave the Hebrew children of His presence and peace in our lives if we place our faith in Him. But that still wouldn't explain why it took me another week to put the post together. 

Tonight was Brandon's Ordination service as Pastor at Laurel Hill Baptist Church, an event that you couldn't have paid me to believe was going to happen just 4 short years ago. One of the questions that was asked of Brandon during the Ordination Council, before the service began, was what kind of leader did Brandon want to be to the people of Laurel Hill. His reply was a leader like Joshua, strong and of good courage. Brandon's mentors and our former Pastors preached the charge to him and the charge to the church. The scripture that was used to preach the charge to the church was Joshua chapter one.  The Pastor preaching the charge to the church had no idea that we had been studying Joshua, Brandon had no idea that I had been writing the blog on Joshua, and Brandon had no idea what questions they would ask him on the council. Now you tell me God didn't have a hand in that. 

We are facing and have accepted one of the greatest privileges, challenges, and burdens, that could have been placed upon us, to lead a church and a flock of God's people. It is a serious undertaking, certainly not one to be taken lightly. Brandon is now the undershepherd to this congregation of good and godly men and women. It is up to him to follow the Lord so that the congregation can in turn follow Brandon. He is to lead by example, to be blameless, above reproach, sober minded. He is called to love these people, to rebuke, reprove, and exhort them. He is God's man in the pulpit. He is our leader. God has placed a love in our hearts for the people of Laurel Hill, it began to grow the first time we passed through their church doors. But having a love for the people does not mean this burden will be easy to carry. In fact it will make it that much harder. But we can serve the Lord as leaders to His flock of people by having faith in Him that He is true to His Word and is with us whithersoever we goest. We can be strong and have a good courage because we stand in His presence, we have His peace, the peace of Jehovah-Shalom.  

He has called us to arise and go forth to serve Him by leading His people.  And though there will be wolves and lions that seek to devour our flock, He will never forsake us, never fail us. We will stand in strength, boldly and courageously, with God by our side, and His peace in our hearts. Jehovah-Shalom: The LORD of Our Peace will never leave us, never fail us.

Multiplied

Your love is like radiant diamonds
Bursting inside us we cannot contain
Your love will surely come find us
Like blazing wild fires singing Your name

God of mercy sweet love of mine
I have surrendered to Your design
May this offering stretch across the skies
And these Halleluiahs be multiplied

Your love is like radiant diamonds
Bursting inside us we cannot contain
Your love will surely come find us
Like blazing wild fires singing Your name

God of mercy sweet love of mine
I have surrendered to Your design
May this offering stretch across the skies
And these Halleluiahs be multiplied

(Multiplied)
(Oh multiplied)

God of mercy sweet love of mine
I have surrendered to Your design
May this offering stretch across the skies
And these Halleluiahs be multiplied

These Halleluiahs be multiplied

(Your love is like radiant diamonds)
(Bursting inside us we cannot contain)
(Your love will surely come find us)

Like blazing wild fires singing Your name

The Names of God: El Olam

El Olam: The Everlasting God

Psalms 90:1-2

[A Prayer of Moses the man of God.]

1 Lord, thou hast been our dwelling place in all generations.

2 Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever thou hadst formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, thou art God.

Isaiah 40:28

Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding.

I like to do a series with the blog posts because it focuses my thoughts and writing rather than just writing about random thoughts. And I like the series posts because when I'm done with one I immediately begin thinking about the next. Sometimes this means I have the next post up in a couple of days but usually it's a week. But everyday for that week I am thinking about the next post in the series and how my life factors in to what I'm studying about. I know I probably sound redundant at times because I write about losing Lachlan and my other babies, about the changes in Brandon over the last 3 years, about my fears and dreams for my boys - but I can only write what I know, what I feel, what I see. I can only write my story because God has given it to me to use to glorify Him.

So this week as I thought about El Olam, the Everlasting God, and my story, I was overwhelmed at the magnitude of what this name of God means.

It simply means that God and all He is, all He represents, all of His promises are eternal, without end, lasting forever. His love. His mercy. His forgiveness. His grace. His compassion. His comfort. His shelter. His longsuffering. His glory. His goodness. His gentleness. His hope. His faith. His peace. His redemption. His righteousness. His joy.

We could never deserve Him. Never work to gain His favor. Never be good enough for His eternal and everlasting greatness. 

And yet in all His eternal majesty He still created us, still spared us from the flood, spared us from hell by sending His only begotten Son. He loved us more than we could possibly fathom. 

El Olam has been our dwelling place in all generations, from beginning to end. 

He fainteth not, neither is He weary. He never tires of hearing our problems but He deserves our praises. He never tires of comforting our sorrows but He deserves our sacred songs. He never tires of loving us in spite of our sins but He deserves our lives to be lived in fear and service, truth and love of Him.

There is no searching His understanding. We cannot know in this life why He chose to send Jesus to die for our sins, aside from eternal love. But He did choose to. Before the mountains were brought forth, before He formed the earth and world, the everlasting to everlasting God knew my story and chose to send His Son to die so that I could tell it. 

I Just Wanted You To Know

You made dry ground where once were oceans 

Where once were mountains You made them low 

Where there were stones, now there is water 

You satisfy my thirsty soul 

There's strength in knowing You are near me 

That peace that You, alone bestow 

I love You more today than ever and I just wanted You to know 

Where there is fear Lord You will hide 

when winds of danger around me roll 

I feel your arms of grace around me and I just wanted you to know 

All those times I've seen your glory 

And how You've conquered my every foe 

My love for you is overflowing 

And I just wanted-- Lord I just needed! 

My heart is longing for You to know... 

and I just wanted You to know

Advent Scripture Series: Week 4

Advent Scripture Series

Week 4

This Christmas, more than any other, I have tried to intentionally focus my heart on Christ. It has not always been easy. Life gets in the way of good intentions all too often. But I have tried to be in His Word every day, seeking out scriptures for this very series. And I have felt my heart changing, moving old bitterness aside, throwing worry out, and letting love take up the space, preparing the way for Him. It gets so stressful in the last few days before Christmas, don't lose sight of what the season is about now.There was no room for Him in the inn so long ago, don't let the same happen to your hearts. Make room for Him, prepare Him a place.

God's love was manifested towards us in that He sent His only begotten Son that we may have life and live through Him. He did not send His Son for us to forget, to deny, to reject. He sent Him because He loved us, because we were dying and heading straight for the hell we deserved. But He sent us His Son that starry night, to worship and adore. True Love born in a stable.

Every year since my oldest was born, I have read to them The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson. This year was no exception. And last night, as they lay peacefully sleeping, I finished reading the last few pages of the story of the Herdmans. 6 wild and rowdy children, who had never even heard the Christmas story. Not so much unlike my own boys would have been if God hadn't intervened and changed our lives so completely. This verse came to mind as I read. Herein is love...not that we loved God, but that He loved us. He loved us so much that He sent His Son to reconcile our sin, a debt that we could never ever repay otherwise. I finished reading the story in tears, as usual, but each time I read it, it means a little more.

"It suddenly occurred to me that this was just the way it must have been for the real Holy Family, stuck away in a barn by people who didn't much care what happened to them. They couldn't have been very neat and tidy either, but more like this Mary and Joseph (Imogene's veil was cockeyed as usual, and Ralph's hair stuck out all around his ears). Imogene had the baby doll but she wasn't carrying it the way she was supposed to, cradled in her arms. She had it slung up over her shoulder, and before she put it back in the manger she thumped it twice on the back.
I heard Alice gasp and she poked me. "I don't think it's very nice to burp the baby Jesus," she whispered, "as if he had colic." Then she poked me again. "Do you suppose he could have had colic?"
I said, "I don't know why not," and I didn't. He could have had colic, or been fussy, or hungry like any other baby. After all, that was the whole point of Jesus -- that he didn't come down on a cloud like something out of "Amazing Comics," but that he was born and lived...a real person."
--The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

My niece is almost halfway through her first pregnancy. Her little tummy is starting to round out and she is beginning to show. And today as our family gathered around the Christmas tree to open our gifts, her tiny, 8oz unborn son was not forgotten. In fact he was lavished in gifts. One might ask why, considering he is not even born yet. But Uriah Luke is loved beyond measure already. He has been hoped for, prayed for, and is anxiously awaited for. Again, one might ask why? Why do we love this tiny person who is entirely dependent on his Momma, who can serve us in no way, who will truly only bring many tears and heartaches during his life, who could be seen as a burden and a hindrance. We love Uriah because we love his Momma, we love his Daddy. This baby is one created in love and one who will bring so much joy and happiness to his family. This baby is one who was not created for serving but one to be served, to be looked after and cared for, one who will never have to worry about parents being angry and bitter about late night feedings and changings, a baby who will never lack for arms to hold him, to rock him, to hug him. Uriah who was created in spite of the burden, the tears and the heartaches that accompany us all in life, he was created because of the love, the joy, and the tears of happiness and full hearts he will bring. And he will love us because we love him so mightily.

You might be thinking of another baby this Christmas season, one born of entirely different circumstances. A baby born by miraculous, immaculate conception. Born to take on the sins of the world. Born to carry our burdens, count our tears, mend our broken hearts. Born because no service we could ever offer His Father would cover the sin debt that we owe. Jesus was a baby born because He first loved us, not because we loved Him. He loved us before we knew Him, even loves us as so many of us reject Him now. He loved us in spite of our shortcomings, our failures, our total dependence on Him. And He gave the greatest gift we could ever imagine...Salvation. He gave Himself.

And we love Him because He first loved us.

Advent Scripture Series: Week 3

Advent Scripture Series 

Week 3

As we drive ourselves crazy this Christmas trying to find the perfect gift for everyone on our list, let's remember the greatest Gift of all. The Gift that was given out of so much love. The Gift that was one of a kind, no duplicate to be found. The Gift that truly keeps on giving, eternally. The Gift that was given one starry night, in a little town called Bethlehem, to young parents thrust into parenthood by the Holy Ghost and entrusted by God with His only begotten Son, a Gift given so that we may have everlasting life.

Do you ever wonder why the Angel of the Lord appeared to a bunch of shepherds in a field, tending their flock of sheep? Who better to understand the significance of a perfect lamb? These poor shepherd boys has sheep coming out of their ears but the likelihood of finding a single one, without spot or blemish, perfect in every way, was probably next to none. I imagine they were bone weary and sleep deprived, having traveled far and wide to keep fresh food and water for their flock, keeping watch at night to protect them from predators and fighting them off when the need arose. But then the angel appeared, scared them to death, and delivered the most glorious news. A Savior had been born. A babe, wrapped in swaddling clothes and laying in a manger, a lamb of God, born to take away the sin of the world. The shepherds understood and they made haste to Him. They saw Him and then made known abroad what they had seen. They returned home, glorifying and praising God for all they had seen and heard. 

Glorify and praise Him this Christmas season. Don't let the significance of the Lamb of God go unnoticed. Don't let Him be overshadowed by tinsel and twinkling lights. Understand and make haste to Him.

Have you ever had someone take the blame for something you did? Has anyone ever stepped in and taken your rightly deserved punishment? I loved my little brother and my friends growing up but I'm nearly certain I never volunteered to get a whoopin' for any of them, unless perhaps I could somehow use it to my advantage. I never willingly or selflessly stood up and copped to a crime or broken rule, I didn't commit. To do so, takes a love so intense, its nearly unfathomable. As Mommas and Daddys we can understand though, that this love is real and true. Its the love you have for your children. Its a desire to want to keep them from all harms way, even if it is a rightly deserved punishment. That old saying "This is gonna hurt me a lot more than it hurts you" is all too true. 

But the love that it takes to let your only begotten Son, GIVE HIMSELF, as an offering and sacrifice, to atone for the sins of ungrateful and undeserving wretches like me, is simply boundless, immeasurable, infinite.

Focus on His love this Advent and prepare your hearts for His coming.

Wednesday night at Christmas play practice I could feel myself getting overwhelmed, quick and in a hurry. For those of y'all who direct your church play every year, God bless your hearts. This is my first year and may be my last. More than once I've found myself on the verge of tears, thinking "is this really worth it?" For a split second tonight while I sat trying to recite my lines and direct curtain closings and openings, songs ending and beginning, and characters entering and exiting, all while my babies sat and cried for me, I seriously considered just throwing my hands up and quitting. It was too much. But then as Mary began to read her lines and tell how overwhelmed she was when Gabriel appeared to her, how terrified she was, I began to calm down. As I sat there and listened to the characters run lines with each other I realized that He was there with us, just as he had been that long ago night in Bethlehem. Just as He was on Calvary.He was there, comforting, calming, consoling. He is with us each and every moment of every day, never leaving us, never forsaking us. So instead of getting overwhelmed, panicking or complaining, I'm going to remember that God is with us, and that the purpose of this Christmas play is to bring glory and honor to His name and nothing else. I'm going to remember why I started this in the first place, not because I knew it was going to be easy, but because I wanted to do it for Him. It's just a small thing really, it could never measure up to what He did for me on Calvary, but it is because I love Him and that is all He asks of me.

My boys are rough and tough, wild and rowdy. They drive me to the brink of crazy on most days. But they are the joy of my life. They are my true blessings from the Lord. And they are night and day different from one another. Kieran is my thinker, he can be quiet and shy, very sensitive, a leader. Devlin is noise with dirt on it, fearless, stubborn and outspoken, fiercely protective. I love them each to distraction. And I love that my God made each of them just the way they are. He knew exactly the personality and qualities they would possess. He knew exactly which buttons of mine they'd push and which nerves they'd fray. And He knew exactly how to use them to prepare my heart for His coming.
I wonder sometimes, how Mary felt as she raised Jesus, as she nursed Him in infancy, taught Him to walk, to talk, doctored boo boos, combed His hair and mended His clothes. Did she know that one day He would walk on water, heal the sick, raise the dead? Did she know that one day He would calm the storms with His hand, rule the nations, save mankind? He was the Lord of all creation this babe in swaddling clothes. He was the perfect Lamb of God this toddler running around her feet. And every time she kissed Him, she kissed the face of the Great I Am.
My boys may not be perfection but they are mine. God sent them to me just as He sent His Only Begotten Son to Mary. He had a reason, a purpose, a plan that only she could fulfill.
The Spirit of God made them, the breath of the Almighty gave them life and placed them in my womb. I will fulfill my plan and bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, preparing their hearts always for His return.

God. Is. Love. Let that sink in a minute. Love is a word that is tossed around and used for everything in sight. But if we are really honest we ourselves and with each other, love is about more than a favorite song, or sweater, or snack, it is about more than just stuff. Love is an emotion from deep within, one that is hard to express with mere words. It needs to be felt, to be seen, to be heard. Don't forget to express your love for those around you this Advent season. Don't get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the holiday and forget what we are truly celebrating, God's immeasurable love for us. Dwell in love this Christmas. Dwell in Him.

He didn't just come as a baby in a manger, to stay a baby in a manger. He didn't just decide to have the "human experience" simply for a change of pace. He became God in the flesh and walked among us with a purpose. That purpose was Redeem us!
"Living He loved me,
Dying He saved me,
Buried He carried, my sins far away.
Rising He justified, freely forever,
One day He's coming, oh, glorious day!"
-Casting Crowns

Advent Scripture Series: Week 2

Advent Scripture Series

Week 2

For many, the holidays are not a happy time. They're less a celebration and more a mourning. We may find ourselves weighed down by the could've beens, should've beens, would've beens. Hearts and minds may be hardened to the joy of the season, we may have forgotten what all we have to be thankful for. This is the purpose of Advent, to prepare our hearts for the celebration and the coming of Christ. It is an intentional focus on Christ in the 4 weeks leading up to Christmas. Truly though, each and every day of our lives should be spent in an Advent preparation. We should continually be preparing our hearts for His return. But for those of us who can't seem to find our Christmas spirits, who can't see through the tears of sorrow, or worry, we must remember that to celebrate His coming, we need to remember why He came. To give us life, to resurrect us! He is the Resurrection! The God that rolled the stone away from the tomb, is the same God that can break the cold stone away from our hardened hearts and give life blood to it once again. Though we may feel all hope is lost in whatever situation we are facing, if we believe in Him, though our spirits may feel dead, He will give us life!

In the midst of a holiday season rife with mythical creatures, it would seem that the world does not have difficulty believing in what they cannot see. Santa Claus is touted as the source of the magic of Christmas, elves in Toy Land busily crafting away toys for good boys and girls, and reindeer seem to know how to fly. It is amazing what a little imagination can dream up. But I am thankful this Christmas for a Savior that I know is real. I don't need wildly concocted tales to fuel some fabrication passed down for generations. I have my Divinely Inspired Bible, God's Holy Word, that tells me of my Savior's magnificent birth, His miraculous life, sacrificial death, and extraordinary resurrection. I can feel Him alive and working in my heart and soul, drawing me nigh to Him. I wait with anticipation, not for reindeer hooves on the rooftop, but to meet Him in the clouds in the twinkling of an eye. I am headed North, not for Santa's workshop, but heaven and homeward bound. Do you believe in the true magic of Christmas, Christ born of a virgin, come to save mankind from sin?

Tonight I am thinking of some special Mommas in my life who have borne the pain of losing a child. It is a pain unlike any other I've ever known. Soul shattering, heart breaking, mind numbing, crippling pain of a child taken from us all too soon. Yet in the midst of that pain is a another Momma's Son willing to bear it. A Son foretold of and born of a virgin, magnificent and perfect in every way. He came as a babe, wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. God Himself made flesh. And He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows. The Highest of highs is with us in our lowest of lows.

My sweet boys like to sleep with a night light at night. It's a comfort to them, keeps their fears at bay, reminds them they're in their very own big boy beds but not alone because they can see one another in the room they share and lights their path to our bed in the middle of the night. The little light isn't much but it does the job. Wouldn't it be nice if our adult fears were banished with just a little light? Wouldn't it be nice if just a dim light was enough to keeps the stress and worry monsters away? Wouldn't it be nice if a little light gave us a clear path to the comfort we need most? I've heard tale of a light that can do just that. A light that once shown so bright in the sky, that the shepherds and wise men followed it and found their Savior asleep in the hay of a manger in Bethlehem. That same light now resides in me as a child of the King. He came as a baby, was crucified a man. In His death, He gave life and light to men.

Have you ever tried to help someone who didn't want help? When try as you might they reject your help, your advice, your love? It doesn't seem to matter that you came only to help, to save them from themselves, the situation they're in, the world around them, and you want nothing in return but their love. You want only to hear them say "Yes, I need your help. I need your love. I believe in you and what you've done for me." Knowing that if they would just accept you instead of rejecting you, you could give them the power to change their life. Finally, most of us, will at some point give up, tired, weary, and discouraged.

I imagine Christ felt very much like this. Hated from His prophecy, hunted by a murderous king as an infant, despised during His ministry, and finally crucified out of hate and fear. The very people, His people, that He came to save, refused Him, denied Him. And yet, unlike us, in spite of being forsaken, He bore our sorrows and our pain. He shouldered our sins upon the cross. Beaten and bloody, He carried the cross up Calvary's hill, and willingly laid down His life, for all mankind. No exceptions.

As we celebrate His birth this Christmas season, let us remember the glory of His life, and the magnitude of love in His death.

A friend of mine just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, another friend just had a beautiful baby boy. And I love babies. I love everything about them. From the time I was just a little girl, I have been baby crazy. My niece is due at the end of May and I am so excited I can't hardly stand it. But thinking of her baby boy on the way and her becoming a mother for the very first time, reminds me of the first time I held my own boys. 

During my pregnancies, I had read everything I could get my hands on about what was going on inside my body, how my babies were growing, what to expect during labor...I felt prepared, I was ready, my body was made to do this. And then the baby was born and I realized that I hadn't read a single thing on what to do after he was born. Suddenly I was panicked. No one told me that breastfeeding was hard. No one told me that he would cluster feed for hours on end during the night. No one told me that the baby blues would play hard and fast with my emotions. I was a wreck. And yet, when I held my newborn son in my arms, when I quieted his cries with my touch and my voice, when I nourished him at my breast, there was nothing more perfect in my world. It's amazing what one tiny baby and the grace of God can do.

I don't know Mary's state of emotions that night in Bethlehem, after a long and tiresome journey, 9 months pregnant, laboring in a stable, surrounded by animals, but I imagine they were like any other first time Momma's. Excited, scared, overjoyed, overwhelmed, determined and discouraged. But with the birth of her Son, God's Son, came the very truth and grace she would need to be His Momma. That night, in a dirty stable, under imperfect conditions, God gave her His Perfect and Only Begotten Son, One who with His fullness would give me grace some 2,000 years later.

So often I hear a common misconception about Jesus and Christians. "Kendra found Jesus." "Brandon found Jesus." "Ole Kendra found Jesus and she don't come round here no more." (Yes, the grammar is on purpose. Just imagine my Southern twang and you'll understand).

Friends, I have some truth to impart. I didn't find Jesus. Brandon didn't find Jesus. I don't frequent the establishments I once did because I found Jesus. HE FOUND ME. 

For the Son of man came to SEEK and to SAVE that which was LOST. He came for no other reason than to seek out the sinners and to save them! Just as the Shepherd leaves the ninety and nine to seek and to save that one lamb that is lost, so my Savior did for me! He found me in a Sunday School room 23 years ago, crying because I knew I didn't want to be bad anymore and He moved right into my heart. And a dozen years later, when I strayed from the straight and narrow and I could not find my way back to Him on my own, He came again to find me. 

This Christmas season He is seeking you out. He has come to save you. Let Him find you, let Him save you, let Him dwell within you.

Advent & Anger

John 11:25-26 KJV

25 Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:

26 And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?

What is Advent? Advent is simply the intentional preparation of one's heart for the coming of Christ as a babe in Bethlehem. It is the Christmas season when we actively anticipate His promised return. Advent is a true longing for our Savior. 

But in the last several weeks I have been struggling. With everything it seems.  The holidays are hard for me. They seem to be a constant reminder of what could have been. This week marks a year since I found out I was pregnant with our 5th child and next month will mark a year since my miscarriage. I find myself imagining 5 cherub faces around a beautifully lit Christmas tree and my heart aches. This December also marked the 5th anniversary of Lachlan's stillbirth.

I can remember it as vividly as if it were yesterday though. The sounds, the smells, the sorrow.  And I remember the anger.  I know though that I'm not the first to be angry at the death of my loved one. 

John chapter 11 tells us of a pair of sisters, Mary and Martha, whose brother, Lazarus falls ill. The sisters send for Jesus. He does not come and Lazarus dies. Mary and Martha bury Lazarus and begin to mourn for their brother. Jesus comes 4 days after Lazarus had been buried. The sisters go to him, Martha alone at first, and again with Mary. Each of them greet Him with the same statement.

"Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died."

Martha and Mary were angry and hurt. Mary threw herself down at His feet, weeping.  So did I. "If you'd been here Lord, Lachlan wouldn't have died. If you'd loved me Lord, my son would be alive. Why'd you take him from me Lord?" I screamed these questions and more at Him for weeks. And then I stopped talking to Him altogether. My pain and anger had turned to bitterness and resentment. And unlike Martha, my faith was sorely lacking. 

"But I know, that even now, whatsoever thou wilt ask of God, God will give it thee." (John 11:22 KJV).

Martha had enough faith in her Savior that she had hope. She knew that whatever Jesus asked of His Father, God would give it. She hoped with her whole heart that He'd intercede and somehow give her brother back to her. And He did. He raised Lazarus from the dead. And forgave them their anger, forgave them their hurt. What Martha and Mary understood in a single day, took me years to understand. Jesus is the Resurrection, He is the Life and whosoever believeth in Him shall never die. 

Lachlan is buried in the midst of a beautiful daylily garden, under an apple tree at my parents' home. I go to visit him throughout the year, but on the anniversary of his stillbirth and his due date I take him a bouquet of flowers. I have always gone alone. But this year Brandon, Kieran and Devlin went with me. This year I introduced my sons to their brother. As I stood there, tears streaming down my face, I took the flowers, one by one, from the bouquet and my boys placed them on the angel that stands at Lachlan's grave. 

My tears were of sadness, of mourning, of longing but they were also of peace. The anger that once burned so bitterly inside my soul was gone. I could look upon my sons as they giggled with excitement over learning that they had a brother in heaven and feel His wonderful peace because I knew my firstborn lived again. He lives on in my heart and their laughter, in Brandon's love and my peace. Lachlan lives because I believe in a Savior who loves me enough to shed His blood on Calvary for my sins. Lachlan lives because I believe in a Savior who loves me even when I couldn't love Him. Lachlan lives because my Savior is the Resurrection and the Life, the Love and the Light of men. 

What better preparation for my heart and soul to long for my Savior's coming than to know my son and other babies will greet me also. 

How Sweet The Hour

How sweet the hour of praise and prayer,

When our devotions blend,

And on the wings of faith divine

Our songs of joy ascend!

’Tis then we hear in tones more clear

The gracious promise giv’n,

That, though we part from friends on earth,

We all shall meet in Heav’n.

We all shall meet in Heav’n at last,

We all shall meet in Heav’n;

Through faith in Jesus’ precious blood,

We all shall meet in Heav’n.

How sweet the tie of hallowed love

That binds our hearts in one;

When gathered in the blessèd name

Of Christ, the Father’s Son!

And though the parting soon may come,

Yet in His Word is giv’n

The blessèd hope that by and by

We all shall meet in Heav’n.

Yes, soon our worn and weary feet

Will reach the golden strand,

Where those we love our coming wait

In yonder summerland;

A few more days, a few more years,

By storm and tempest driv’n,

With songs and everlasting joy

We all shall meet in Heav’n.

The Beatitudes: Blessed Are The Peacemakers

Matthew 5:9 KJV
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

I have struggled with writing this post this week. To be honest I have been at a loss for words. My family is in a situation right now that has shocked us to the core. We are reeling and grasping for a solution. And in the midst of a situation like the one we're in, dealing with inheritance and legacy, our true colors come out. We learn things about ourselves and our family that we didn't know before, or didn't want to see. It is in times like these, when money and greed pit one side of the family against another, that we need a peacemaker the most. 

Unfortunately in situations like ours, it is hard to see a solution that will be accepted by both sides and make everyone happy. Inevitably someone will feel slighted, someone will feel betrayed, someone will feel martyred, someone will feel blamed, but everyone will be hurt.

We can see it happening before our very eyes but are powerless to stop it. Things will be said and done that cannot be taken back. Lines will be drawn and crossed. Bridges burned. 

Where can we find a peacemaker in a situation such as ours? A mediator? An interceder?  I can think of only One who could ever do justice to our plight. Only One who could treat both sides with equal love, who would have only selfless motivation, who would protect the innocent, the weak, and the frail. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. He is the Peacemaker, the Mediator, the Interceder. 

Only He can melt a cold and hardened heart. Only He can calm the storm raging in a family being torn apart by greed and selfishness. Only He can mend the bond between loved ones that is fast unraveling.

What is important for us to remember is that we worship a God we cannot exaggerate. What seems a hopeless situation to me right now, is nothing compared to what He has delivered His people from for thousands of years. My God created the sun and moon, parted the Red Sea, rose from the dead and defeated death, hell and the grave, and He can do this little thing for me. If I remain true and faithful, He will make peace in my family for He is my Peacemaker and I am His child.

Didn’t I Walk On The Water

As I kneel in the darkness in the middle of the night

I’m praying for assurance everything’s gonna be alright

Lord I see another battle out in front of me

I’m afraid I won’t be able and I’ll go down in defeat

And He said,

Didn’t  I walk on the water, Didn’t  I calm the raging sea

Didn’t I speak to the wind, it hushed and I gave you peace

Didn’t I run to your rescue, didn’t I hear you when you called

Didn’t I walk right beside you just so you wouldn’t fall

Didn’t I leave all of Heaven just to die for your sin

Didn’t I search until I found you and I’d do it all again

He said, do you remember where I brought you from

Just take a look behind you at how far you’ve come

And everytime you asked me, didn’t I deliver you

So why would you be thinking that I wouldn’t see you through

And He said,

Didn’t  I walk on the water, Didn’t  I calm the raging sea

Didn’t I speak to the wind, it hushed and I gave you peace

Didn’t I run to your rescue, didn’t I hear you when you called

Didn’t I walk right beside you just so you wouldn’t fall

Didn’t I leave all of Heaven just to die for your sin

Didn’t I search until I found you and I’d do it all again

Now she’s talking to her father in a house that was once a home

She said my bills are coming due Lord and six days is not that long

She hears a voice so still and low

It says I’ve moved like that before

And I’ll do this little thing and I’ll give you so much more

And He said,

Didn’t  I walk on the water, Didn’t  I calm the raging sea

Didn’t I speak to the wind, it hushed and I gave you peace

Didn’t I run to your rescue, didn’t I hear you when you called

Didn’t I walk right beside you just so you wouldn’t fall

Didn’t I leave all of Heaven just to die for your sin

Didn’t I search until I found you and I’d do it all again

The Gospel

Psalms 3:3 KJV 
But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.

Psalms 62:5 KJV
My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.

Today I viewed the funeral of a 17 year old young man, taken tragically and unexpectedly from his family. I witnessed the sheer amount of love for him and the staggering volume of lives that his had impacted. As his Pastor said, Eleck lived much in such a short amount of time. He lived much for his Savior and his passion and his testimony have brought a community together like only the shared love of Jesus Christ can do.

As I sat with my boys and watched the service, holding them tight and thanking God for another day with them, the Pastor quoted Eleck and said "The Gospel is not about what is being done, it's about what's already been done." The weight of those words hit me and new tears sprang forth. The Gospel is about what my Lord and Savior did for me on Calvary. I'm not awaiting trial with no defense, I'm not awaiting a midnight death row pardon, I'm not sitting in purgatory waiting to be prayed out and into heaven. It is finished. I have been forgiven. He willingly gave Himself as a sacrifice to pay my sin debt long before I even existed because He already loved me. He didn't have to wait until I was born, until I was already filthy with sin, He didn't have to wait until I made the choice to love and accept Him as my Savior. He had already made the choice and signed my pardon.

The Gospel isn't about anything I'm doing or you're doing. It's about what He did and has promised to do. He has promised to return to us with a shout, to meet us in the air. He has prepared for us a place and He is coming again to take us there. And until then our souls wait only upon Him.  We live in the expectation of His promises and His sacrifice, we live by our faith, we spread His Gospel, and we thank Him for His glory.

O Lord, thank you. Thank you for being my shield and my protector from all harm's way, thank you for your sheltering arms. Thank you for being my glory, my light, my purpose. Thank you for lifting my head when it hurts to even get out of bed. Thank you for lifting my head to cast my eyes upon your majestic face. Thank you for lifting my head so that I can see your love and your sacrifice. Thank you.
In Jesus Sweet Name I Do Pray,
Love You Jesus,
Amen

Living By Faith

I care not today what the morrow may bring,

If shadow or sunshine or rain,

The Lord I know ruleth o’er everything,

And all of my worries are vain.

Though tempests may blow and the storm clouds arise,

Obscuring the brightness of life,

I’m never alarmed at the overcast skies—

The Master looks on at the strife.

Living by faith in Jesus above,

Trusting, confiding in His great love;

From all harm safe in His sheltering arm,

I’m living by faith and feel no alarm.

I know that He safely will carry me through,

No matter what evils betide;

Why should I then care though the tempest may blow,

If Jesus walks close to my side.

Our Lord will return for His loved ones some day,

Our troubles will then all be o’er;

The Master so gently will lead us away,

Beyond that blest heavenly shore.

Living by faith in Jesus above,

Trusting, confiding in His great love;

From all harm safe in His sheltering arm,

I’m living by faith and feel no alarm.