Jehovah-LORD: "The Self-Existent One"
Exodus 3:14 KJV
And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you.
I think that there are several stages in a person's life when "Why" becomes their favorite question. I know my boys have certainly tested the limits of my patience with that question. And sometimes my favorite response is "Because I said so." And I imagine as they grow up and continue to test the boundaries their Daddy and I set for them, they'll continue to ask "Why" and my response will probably continue to be "Because I said so" or some variation. And as they continue to grow into adults and have disappointments and curiosities, they'll keep asking, and they may receive an answer and they may not. But eventually it's the "Whys" that drive us. They can drive us mad or they can drive us to action. They can drive us towards God or away from God.
I've uttered the question in disbelief, I've screamed it in anger, I've groaned it in pain. And in those times the answer is the hardest to understand. Each and every time I have lost a baby, I've run the gauntlet of these emotions and I've wanted that one question answered.
This past week as I listened to a woman recount her friend's story of tragic stillbirth, I softly asked "Why Lord?" Why did He let her pregnancy reach 30 weeks and then call her baby girl home? Over the weekend I sobbed "Why Lord?" in crushed disappointment because I missed the birth of my first great-nephew. Why when He knew how much I wanted to be there for my niece did He keep me from her? And as I sat tonight and heard a sweet friend confide in me her loss of a precious baby boy 11 years ago, I wondered "Why Lord?" Why has she had to carry the burden of this loss alone all these years?
I think as a Christian the "Whys" are harder to deal with than any other question because we have to have faith that He has a perfect will for each and every one of us. It's not as simple as asking "Why does the Earth revolve around the Sun?" or "Why do earthquakes happen?" We can't just pull up Google and ask God why life happens the way that it does. But we can turn to His Word and find comfort. The great I AM sent me each and every one of my babies, just as He sent Moses to lead the children of Israel out of bondage. And when they fulfilled their earthly purpose He called my babies home again, just as He'll do with Kieran and Devlin when they fulfill their purpose for Him, just as He did with Moses, just as He does with us all. Each positive pregnancy test was not a promise of a life here on earth with that baby but an eternity spent worshiping my Jesus side by side with my baby. We are never promised eternal life here on earth but in a perfect Heaven with a perfect Father when we accept His perfect Gift.
We may never have an answer for our "Whys" here on this earth but we can have faith that the Self-Existent One, the great I AM, has a true and perfect answer.
The Eternal Life
(to the tune of Auld Lang Syne)
It singeth low in every heart,
We hear it each and all;
A song of those who answer not,
However we may call.
They throng the silence of the breast;
We see them as of yore;
The kind, the true, the brave, the sweet,
Who walk with us no more.
’Tis hard to take the burden up,
When these have laid it down;
They brightened all the joy of life,
They softened every frown.
But, Oh, ’tis good to think of them
When we are troubled sore;
Thanks be to God that such have been,
Though they are here no more.
More home-like seems the vast unknown
Since they have entered there;
To follow them were not so hard,
Wherever they may fare.
They cannot be where God is not,
On any sea or shore;
Whate’er betides, Thy love abides,
Our God, forevermore.
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