Who Are You Lord? : I Am The Most High

Jeremiah 29:11 KJV 
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. 

Psalms 7:17 KJV 
I will praise the LORD according to his righteousness: and will sing praise to the name of the LORD most high. 

Psalms 83:18 KJV 
That men may know that thou, whose name alone is JEHOVAH, art the most high over all the earth.

A knowing woman who is like the Lord at the break of day.  What an amazing aspiration. I want to be that woman. I want to be a knowing woman, a woman who has the heart knowledge and the head knowledge of her Jesus so that she can be like Him, not just at the break of the day but all the day long.  Kendra Michelle Dawn literally means to be a knowing woman who is like the Lord at the break of day. My parents must've been party to divine inspiration the day they decided on my name. I can aspire to be this woman because I know that He has a plan for me.

     " Known unto God are all His works, for known unto Him are all His thoughts (Acts 15:18) and His works agree exactly with His thoughts; He does all according to the counsel of His will. We often do not know our own thoughts, nor know our own mind, but God is never at any uncertainty within Himself. We are sometimes ready to fear that God's designs concerning us are all against us; but He knows the contrary concerning His own people, that they are thoughts of good and not of evil; even that which seems evil is designed for good. His thoughts are all working towards the expected end, which He will give in due time.  He will give them to see the end of their trouble; though it last long, it shall not last always. When things are at the worst they will begin to mend; and He will give them to see the glorious perfection of their deliverance; for, as for God, His work is perfect. He that in the beginning finished the heavens and the earth, and all the hosts of both, will finish all the blessings of both to his people. When He begins in ways of mercy He will make an end. God does nothing by halves. He will give them to see the expectation, that end which they desire and hope for, and have been long waiting for. He will give them, not the expectations of their fears, nor the expectations of their fancies, but the expectations of their faith, the end which He has promised and which will turn for the best to them." --Matthew Henry on Jeremiah 29:11

The Most High has a plan for me, an expected end, and I must have the expectation of faith to see it done.  I must sing His praises in all that I do and all that I am so that every man may know the He is The Most High.  I did something tonight that I have never done as an adult before.  I wrote about my Savior in a school assignment. I recently enrolled in an online university and I am very excited and very apprehensive at the same time.  Our goal has always been for our ministry to grow into something concrete. A physical place where those who are hurting can go to for comfort and guidance, a place where they can go to hear the Gospel given in a truthful but loving way, without casting them down.  Our long-term goal is to open a Christian counseling center in our community. To do this the Lord burdened my heart with going back to school for my Bachelor of Psychology degree with a concentration in Human Services so that I will have the knowledge I need to help people from all walks of life.  Brandon will also be, Lord willing, beginning his Theology degree in the Fall.  These are major life changes taking place in our lives and I believe they are part of our expected end.  

Tonight, as I was completing a practice assignment for my orientation course, I took an opportunity to talk about my Savior.  It was a practice assignment to walk us through submitting our future assignments in the online classroom, so I honestly don't know that it will even be seen by another person.  But that wasn't the point of it.  It was for me.  The assignment was to write a one page essay on the academic, emotional, and practical challenges and opportunities that being an online student presents. This week while going through the many tutorials and resources that the university provides new students, I quickly came to realize that I may very well be out of my academic depth and most certainly my comfort zone. The fear and the anxiety naturally began to well up inside of me.  But in writing this essay tonight, the Holy Ghost came by, and whispered His sweet peace to me.  This is the paragraph from my essay:

Second I must overcome the emotional challenge presented to me, fear and anxiety about being a new student in such a different atmosphere.  I am no longer fresh out of high school and the lessons I learned in English about correct citations in my writing as well as my grammar are no longer as sharp in my mind as they were almost ten years ago.  Knowing that I am not up to speed, that I am by most accounts, rusty, is a fearful thing. This knowledge creates a lot of anxiety that intrudes upon my goals of attaining my degree and setting an example for my sons.  For me overcoming this challenge is spiritual.  I rely first and foremost upon my Lord and Savior and it is to Him that I must turn over my fear and my anxiety.  His Word tells me in Philippians Chapter 1 Verse 6 that “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a goodwork in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:” It is through Him that I will conquer my fears and anxiety and grasp the opportunities that being a new student at Walden University offers me.

The Lord Most High not only has a plan for me but He has begun a good work in me and His Word tells me that He see it through until the day He returns to take me home. What better comfort and encouragement could I ask for?  If I aspire to become a knowing woman who is like the Lord at the break of day I believe I will meet my expected end.

Who Are You Lord? : I Am Shelter, I Am Safety

Psalms 4:8 KJV

I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety.

Psalms 46:1 KJV

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

Psalms 61:3 KJV

For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy.

Psalms 62:6-8 KJV

6 He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved.

7 In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.

8 Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.

Luke 15:11-32 KJV

11 And he said, A certain man had two sons:

12 And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living.

13 And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living.

14 And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want.

15 And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.

16 And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him.

17 And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!

18 I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee,

19 And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants.

20 And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.

21 And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son.

22 But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet:

23 And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry:

24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.

25 Now his elder son was in the field: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard musick and dancing.

26 And he called one of the servants, and asked what these things meant.

27 And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound.

28 And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and intreated him.

29 And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends:

30 But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf.

31 And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.

32 It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.

At 19 years old I left my parent's home to live with Brandon.  I had forsaken my Christian convictions and allowed myself to be persuaded by his parents that if Brandon and I loved one another and wanted to get married then we needed to live together first.  My parents were extremely disappointed in me but they did not keep me from leaving.  I had already broken their hearts by turning down a full Teaching Fellow's scholarship that I had worked years to attain, so that I could live at home and attend community college. Now I was leaving home and dropping out of college so that I could get a full time job to afford rent.  To say I was living riotiously is putting it mildly.  But it was not long until we were in want.  Living on our own, with very little money, was not all it was cracked up to be.  Despite what they say, you can't live on love alone, they turn your lights off when you can't pay the bill.  

I don't know how long the Prodigal Son was away from home, I don't know how long it took him to realize that he needed to go home to his father. We had to turn to my parents many times after I left home for help, it certainly didn't take us long to realize that we needed them.  And there was never an "I told you so", never a harsh word. Only loving compassion and advice.  They never once turned us away.  But it took us 7 long years to come home to the Father.  7 long years of eating, drinking and partying with the swine before we realized that there was a better life awaiting us, if we'd just come home to where we belonged.

I love the parable of the Prodigal Son because it is so much like our story.  He knew that he was not worthy to even be called his father's son any longer and he went begging forgiveness and to be given a place among the servants.  Brandon and I had made many mistakes in those 7 years we were out of the will of God and we knew we didn't deserve His forgiveness but we asked anyway.  And I believe that just like the Prodigal Son's father, our Lord saw us coming while we were yet far off, and He stood and He ran with open arms to scoop us up and kiss us. Not once did He berate us for our sin filled living, not once did He give us the punishment that we rightly deserved, not once did He cast us down.   Instead He proved yet again that He is our refuge, our shelter and our safety.

I think that we each have a Prodigal Son in our families or our Church families, either presently or in the past, or will in the future.  Can I say that we need to be in prayer for these lost sons and daughters to find their way back to the Father? And may I also say that we need to be in prayer so that we can welcome them home like the father in the parable and not the elder son?  I am so thankful and blessed to be able to say that when we found our way back to Him that there was no one who treated us unkindly, no one was hateful or begruding.  It is important for us as Christians to realize that none of us are worthy of Christ's love for us. Not those who have been faithful servants who have never strayed, not those who left and came home again, not those who are still wandering and feeding with the swine.  We were all born in sin and we must all ask forgiveness for those sins. Not a one of us is perfect and not a one of us can point fingers at another.  As much as He is our shelter and our safety, we must also be that for our fellow Christians who are walking afar off.  

Just like the Prodigal Son sought refuge with his father, so we must seek refuge from all our trials and tribulations in our heavenly Father.  He is our rock, our strong tower, our safety and shelter, and He will not turn us away. He will rejoice over us because we were once dead and are alive again.

The Prodigal Son

Like the prodigal son I wandered in darkness

And I traded my life for a world of good time

No peace in my heart I ever could find

And I got so tired feeding after the swine

So I believe I’ll go home and eat with the Father

The table is spread and they’re waiting for me

I can see the Father coming out to greet me

“Lord I’m willing to be just a servant for Thee”

Like the prodigal son I wandered from Jesus

But the Good Shepherd saw through the heat and the cold

The ninety and nine He left in the fold

Just to find this lost sheep that was hungry and cold

So I believe I’ll go home and eat with the Father

The table is spread and they’re waiting for me

I can see the Father coming out to greet me

“Lord I’m willing to be just a servant for Thee”

Who Are You Lord? : I Am The Creator

Genesis 1:27 KJV

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

Deuteronomy 32:15-25 KJV

15 But Jeshurun waxed fat, and kicked: thou art waxen fat, thou art grown thick, thou art covered with fatness; then he forsook God which made him, and lightly esteemed the Rock of his salvation.

16 They provoked him to jealousy with strange gods, with abominations provoked they him to anger.

17 They sacrificed unto devils, not to God; to gods whom they knew not, to new gods that came newly up, whom your fathers feared not.

18 Of the Rock that begat thee thou art unmindful, and hast forgotten God that formed thee.

19 And when the Lord saw it, he abhorred them, because of the provoking of his sons, and of his daughters.

20 And he said, I will hide my face from them, I will see what their end shall be: for they are a very froward generation, children in whom is no faith.

21 They have moved me to jealousy with that which is not God; they have provoked me to anger with their vanities: and I will move them to jealousy with those which are not a people; I will provoke them to anger with a foolish nation.

22 For a fire is kindled in mine anger, and shall burn unto the lowest hell, and shall consume the earth with her increase, and set on fire the foundations of the mountains.

23 I will heap mischiefs upon them; I will spend mine arrows upon them.

24 They shall be burnt with hunger, and devoured with burning heat, and with bitter destruction: I will also send the teeth of beasts upon them, with the poison of serpents of the dust.

25 The sword without, and terror within, shall destroy both the young man and the virgin, the suckling also with the man of gray hairs.

Isaiah 40:28-31 KJV
28 Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding.
29 He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.
30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:
31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.


When I was in the 8th grade we had a substitute teacher one day in our English class. Instead of the lesson that day he took it upon himself to have a debate of sorts.  His topic? Evolution. He was for it. I was against it. I proudly and confidently told him that evolution was hogwash.  I couldn't open a science book from 1611 and have it give me the same version of how the earth began as I could my King James Bible.  I couldn't even take a science book from ten years prior and have it give the same account as a current textbook.  But I could, under no uncertain terms, open my Bible each and every time and know without a shadow of a doubt that God's account of creation was infallible and unchanging.  It wouldn't matter if I opened my Bible 100 years from now, Genesis chapter 1 would say the same thing: In the beginning GOD created the heavens and the earth. He quickly forfeited the discussion and we went back to our English lesson. I think it surprised him that a 14 year old girl could be so adamant about her beliefs, but I was, and have always remained so.  But it hasn't always been easy.

Genesis also tells us that we are created in His image, meaning that we are made to be personal, rational, and moral beings. This however is not always so.  Our lives are full of impersonal, irrational, immoral situations and people.  There have been many times in my life when I've strayed from my beliefs, not in disbelief, but in rebellion.  Rebellion is a slippery slope.  I got myself into some situations that I never should've been in.  It was my Savior who kept me from harm.  I look back and am so thankful that I was saved at an early age because I realize that had I not been, my rebellion would have led to an eternity in hell.  Deuteronomy 32 warns us what happens when we forsake the God that made us, when we lightly esteem the Rock of our Salvation, we provoke His jealousy and we kindle His anger and the results are terrifying and disastrous. If they were a forward generation, children without faith then, then what are we now? It is happening all around us, every single day.  Legal abortion, gay marriage, recreational drug use, underage drinking, premarital sex, pornography, a new religion worshiping a new false god every day. Where have our morals gone? Where has our faith gone?

My life is not perfect. I am not pointing out another's sin as worse than my own.  But what I am saying is that in a generation of people who do not have Christ as their Rock, their solid foundation, we have a generation of people who turn everywhere but to God to cope with the illness, the suffering, the misery and doubt, the trials and tribulations that this life is overrun with.  In my darkest hour, when I lost Lachlan, I never once uttered to God that I hated Him.  I was afraid to.  I didn't hate Him but I didn't turn to Him when I needed Him the most either.   Even with that solid foundation of Salvation in my life I faltered. So without it, I wouldn't merely have stumbled, I'd have all out rolled right down that slippery slope of rebellion straight into the fiery pits of hell.

Why don't we turn to Him when we need Him most?  Is is shame, weakness, humiliation?  He is the Beginning and the End, the Alpha and Omega, The Creator, He knows all and sees all. Satan sees our shame. God sees His Son if we've been washed in the precious blood of Salvation.  Isaiah tells us that He never gets weary of us, there is no end to His understanding and that He will renew our strength and we will run and not be weary, we shall walk and not be faint. He is the Rock of All the Ages and we must stand upon what never changes.

WHAT NEVER CHANGES

I've seen things along the way,

I've seen trouble in my short days.

But Through it all, I had no fear.

See, I had a Friend who was always near.

If the sun were to fall,

If the oceans were to dry.

If the mountains were to crumble,

I wouldn't bat an eye.

For I stand upon the Rock, He’s the Rock of all the Ages.

No matter what may come,

The storm around me rages,

I stand upon what never changes.

Sometimes the way seems bleak,

But we're just human, and we are  so weak.

Take it from me, If the road gets rough

He'll be there to pick you up.

And if the sun were to fall,

If the oceans were to dry.

If the mountains were to crumble,

I wouldn't bat an eye.

For I stand upon the Rock, He’s the Rock of all the Ages.

No matter what may come,

The storm around me rages,

I stand upon what never changes.

And if the sun were to fall,

If the oceans were to dry.

If the mountains were to crumble,

I wouldn't bat an eye.

And if the sun were to fall,

If the oceans were to dry.

If the mountains were to crumble,

I wouldn't bat an eye.

For I stand upon the Rock, He’s the Rock of all the Ages.

No matter what may come,

The storm around me rages,

I stand upon what never changes

I stand upon what never changes

Who Are You Lord? : I Am Strength, I Am Power

Exodus 14:14 KJV
The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.

2 Samuel 22:33 KJV
God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect.

Psalms 68:35 KJV
O God, thou art terrible out of thy holy places: the God of Israel is he that giveth strength and power unto his people. Blessed be God.

Psalms 73:26 KJV
My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.

When I Lay My Isaac Down

Abraham prayed for the day 

God would give him a son 

Blessed Isaac was his name 

The greatest gift he’d ever known 

Then came the day, who would have dreamed 

God would say “You gotta give him back to me

And on this mountain you will prove, 

That it’s you and Isaac, or it’s me and you”

So when I lay my Isaac down 

With a broken heart but my Fathers proud 

And on this altar where he lays 

Just to find it wasn’t him, God wanted me

Now most of us I’d dare to say 

We've got an Isaac standing in God’s way 

But it's on this altar you too can prove 

That it’s not your Isaac that God wants 

But He wants you

And when I lay my Isaac down 

With a broken heart but my Fathers proud 

And on this altar where he lays 

Just to find it wasn’t him, God wanted me

And when I lay my Isaac down 

With a broken heart but my Fathers proud 

And on this altar where he lays 

Just to find it wasn’t him, God wanted me

And on this altar where he lays 

Just to find it wasn’t him, God wanted me

All to Jesus I surrender; 

All to Him I freely give; 

I will ever love and trust him, 

In His presence daily live. 

I surrender all, 

I surrender all, 

All to thee, my blessed Savior, 

I surrender all. 

And when I lay my Isaac down 

With a broken heart but my Fathers proud 

And on this altar where he lays 

Just to find it wasn’t him, God wanted me

And on this altar where he lays 

Just to find it wasn’t him, God wanted me

I cannot imagine being Abraham or how he felt when God called on him to offer Isaac as a sacrifice.  The Bible says nothing about Abraham's emotions, only of his obedience.  God called and he answered, "here am I". God gave him instructions and he immediately began to pack for the journey to the mountains of Moriah.  No questions. No arguments. Just obedience. Just faith. Just strength and power from God to do what He'd asked of him.  Exodus tells us that God will fight for us, we must only hold our peace, be still, keep quiet, and let God work.  Abraham did not have the faintest idea of what God was doing when He told him to offer his only son as a burnt offering but he held his peace because he knew God was fighting for him.  And when Isaac questioned him about the missing sacrificial lamb on the way up the mountain, he simply said that God would provide.  God gives His strength and His power to His people, and Abraham surely needed it in that moment.  It took that God-given strength and power not to jerk Isaac up against him and run like mad down the mountain toward home.  That is almost assuredly what Sarah would've done had she been in Abraham's place.  It's what I'd have done, if I'd ever finished arguing with God about going in the first place.  But Abraham didn't.  They traveled on until they reached the top and then they built the alter.  Abraham bound Isaac...and Isaac let him...more obedience, more faith, more strength, more power.  Isaac could've run, he could've fought, he could've done everything in his will to try to escape his father when he realized that he was to be the sacrifice.  But he didn't. He willingly let Abraham bind him and lay him on that alter.  And as he laid there he watched Abraham raise the knife above his head.  My flesh and heart would've failed in that moment, but not Abraham's.  God's strength and power made Abraham's way perfect and just before he brought the knife down, the angel of the Lord called out to him, stopping him.  The Bible doesn't tell of it, but I can just see Abraham's knees sagging with relief, I can see him cutting the binding on Isaac's body and hugging him tight, I can see him crying out to God with thanks for sparing his son and sending the ram.

Three times was Abraham called upon in Genesis 22, by God, by Isaac, by the angel.  And each time he answered, "here am I."  How do we answer when God calls upon us? Do we answer with obedience and faith? Do we answer with strength and power? Or do we answer in fear?  I am guilty of answering in fear more often than not, that is if I'm not trying to hide from Him completely. But God may be calling on me to see if I'll lay my Isaac down, if I'm willing to surrender all to Him.  Because if I'm not, if I've got an Isaac standing in my way, then I can never reach God's full potential for me. I'll never be given the full strength and power meant for me without my faith and obedience.

Ministry Is...

Ephesians 4:1-16 KJV

1 I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called,

2 With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;

3 Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

4 There is one body, and one Spirit, even as ye are called in one hope of your calling;

5 One Lord, one faith, one baptism,

6 One God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.

7 But unto every one of us is given grace according to the measure of the gift of Christ.

8 Wherefore he saith, When he ascended up on high, he led captivity captive, and gave gifts unto men.

9 (Now that he ascended, what is it but that he also descended first into the lower parts of the earth?

10 He that descended is the same also that ascended up far above all heavens, that he might fill all things.)

11 And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers;

12 For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:

13 Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:

14 That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;

15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:

16 From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.

Each one of us is called by our Lord to serve Him.  Our duty is to see that we become one in the unity of the faith and the knowledge of the Son of God.  Our duty is to edify Him, to build Him up, to speak in truth and in love, to lead all those around us to Him.  And we must walk worthy of the vocation of which we have been called.  To do this we must first understand what Ministry is.

Ministry Is...

Listening, when you'd rather fix the problem.

Searching for the joy, when it's easier to say "it's not fair."

Helping, when you feel like you're the one that needs help.

Telling God, "use me", when you'd rather ask to be rescued.

Encouraging, even when you don't understand God's reasoning.

Hugging when it feels awkward.

Saying, "let's pray right now", instead of "I'll pray for you."

Serving, when you doubt you have anything left to give.

Comforting by being the flicker of light in other's dark caverns.

I took each of these points and I searched for scripture to back them up.  I wanted this to be real, to be steeped in the Holy Ghost, to inspire us to do more, to live our Ministry, to know that even the little things are important and are a reflection on our relationship with Christ Jesus.

Listening:

Ephesians 4:29 KJV 

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

We must listen more and speak less.  Too often I find myself halfway listening to the person talking to me.  I'm more interested in putting together a reply than really listening to their problem.  I want to rush in and fix it, give them my advice and my solution when what they really need is just someone to pour their heart out to.  And when we do speak we must be careful of what we say, we must use our words to build up, not to tear down. We must let our speaking as well as our listening minister grace to those who turn to us for help. If our Lord was only partially attentive to our prayers, rushed in and cut us off with His idea of a solution, well, we wouldn't pray very often would we?  Like Christ sometimes we just need to listen with love.

Joy:

Psalms 30:5 KJV

For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

Life isn't fair.  We all know that.  Bad things happen to good people.  Bad things happen to Christians who are faithful and love the Lord.  Saying "it's not fair" to someone who has turned to you for help is taking the easy way out.  You are doing a disservice to them and to the Lord because you've either lost an opportunity to witness to a lost soul or lost the opportunity to support your brother or sister in Christ.  Walking worthy in your Ministry means searching for the joy even when it is difficult to find. Letting that person know that yes, we may be weeping now, but it will only endure for the night. Our joy will come in the morning.  Perhaps not in the literal sense but we have the promise that our joy is coming. Whatever the situation may be, it will not last forever, with the Son comes our joy.

Helping:

Mark 9:14-27 KJV

14 And when he came to his disciples, he saw a great multitude about them, and the scribes questioning with them.

15 And straightway all the people, when they beheld him, were greatly amazed, and running to him saluted him.

16 And he asked the scribes, What question ye with them?

17 And one of the multitude answered and said, Master, I have brought unto thee my son, which hath a dumb spirit;

18 And wheresoever he taketh him, he teareth him: and he foameth, and gnasheth with his teeth, and pineth away: and I spake to thy disciples that they should cast him out; and they could not.

19 He answereth him, and saith, O faithless generation, how long shall I be with you? how long shall I suffer you? bring him unto me.

20 And they brought him unto him: and when he saw him, straightway the spirit tare him; and he fell on the ground, and wallowed foaming.

21 And he asked his father, How long is it ago since this came unto him? And he said, Of a child.

22 And ofttimes it hath cast him into the fire, and into the waters, to destroy him: but if thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us.

23 Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.

24 And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.

25 When Jesus saw that the people came running together, he rebuked the foul spirit, saying unto him, Thou dumb and deaf spirit, I charge thee, come out of him, and enter no more into him.

26 And the spirit cried, and rent him sore, and came out of him: and he was as one dead; insomuch that many said, He is dead.

27 But Jesus took him by the hand, and lifted him up; and he arose.

Everyone comes with baggage. Find someone who love you enough to help you unpack.  How much more baggage could a person have than a demon possessed son?  And what did the father do?  He took his son to the disciples first and they could not help him.  We must always remember that not everyone can help us, not everyone wants to help us.  There are those who simply want to glean the gossip from your troubles and carry them as fast as they can to whoever will listen.  You must find someone who loves you to take your problems to.  You must be the person who loves another enough to help them unpack.  The father in Mark 9 had to turn to Jesus, had to believe that Jesus would and could heal him, before his son was healed. Who loves us more than Jesus? No one.  To help others we have to love as much like Jesus as we can and when we can't love them enough we must point them to Him.

Use Me:

Colossians 3:22-24 KJV

22 Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God;

23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;

24 Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.

Forget about the self altogether. Your real, new self will not come as long as you're looking for it.  It will come when you're looking for Him. --C.S. Lewis

In our Ministry we have to remove all thoughts of ourselves.  We should not be ministering or helping others to make ourselves feel good, to look good in front of others, or for any reward.  We help, we minister in the singleness of heart, fearing God.  All of our actions should point to Him.  Everything we do in our Ministries should glorify and honor God, even when we feel like we are the ones who need to be rescued because sometimes that is when God can use us the most.  I have gone through many terrible things in my life.  I've had 2 miscarriages and a stillbirth, we've lost all our worldly possessions and home in a fire, we've lost jobs and nearly our home, gone 8 months with very little income, lost family members because of our faith...It would be so easy to hide in shame, in pain, because of what I've had happen in my life.  But that would be selfish.  I am not proud of the sins in my past, I'm not seeking pity for the losses in my life, but I do want to use my life to be of service to Him.  I want the Lord to use me, to use my experiences to bring glory and honor to Him, even when there are still so many times when I just want to be rescued myself.

Encouraging and Serving:

Philippians 2:1-5 KJV

1 If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies,

2 Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.

3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

4 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.

5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:

Let's stop pretending things are ok when they're not, so we can pray for each other and know that we're not the only one who struggles. --Renee Swope

Let's stop pretending.  Let's stop plastering fake smiles on our faces.  Let's stop telling everyone that we're ok. Let's ask for help.  How can we help one another if we're hiding all our problems.  Hiding them doesn't make them go away.  Pretending they don't exist doesn't fix the problem.  We don't need to air our dirty laundry but if we open up to the Godly women in our lives, who may have gone through the exact situation we're in right now, then we can minister to one another.  Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory...not even our sufferings.  In fellowship of the Spirit we ought to be able to be candid with one another, be likeminded and having the same love for one another that Christ has for us so that we can serve and encourage one another.  I struggle every church service with keeping my boys quiet and still.  They've just turned 2 and 3 and Brandon sits on the front pew with the other preachers, as is his place.  So often I find myself alone, in the back of the church feeling like a hindrance, a distraction, a nusiance.  If I would open up to the women around me, the seasoned mothers, then perhaps I could gain their wisdom and encouragment?  Because if I don't then the only one suffering is me. If I continue to pretend that everything is ok Sunday after Sunday and I don't ask for the prayer of my sisters in Christ, then it is I who will suffer in vainglory and won't glean from the Pastor's message the things I need so that I can be of service to someone.

Hugging and Comforting 

Psalms 69:20 KJV

Reproach hath broken my heart; and I am full of heaviness: and I looked for some to take pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none.

Don't shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him. --C.S. Lewis

Sometimes all it takes is a tender word and a hug to show Christ's love.  I am a touchy feely kind of person.  I need to hug and kiss and caress those that I love. And I understand that not everyone is comfortable displaying that kind of affection. I certainly am not as affectionate with a stranger as I am my family. But sometimes in our calling we have to do things we're not comfortable with.  Sometimes we encounter people who are desperately searching for comfort, people who are filled with such a heaviness that we can't understand.  Sometimes, even if it's awkward, we need to wrap our arms around them as the Father would and give them our love and comfort because it's not about us.  Ultimately it is about Him.  If a hug can convey His love for them, then I'll hug every stranger I come across.  We must be that flicker of light in other's dark caverns, we must shine so that others see Him in us.

Praying:

James 5:16 KJV

Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

Prayer is the most powerful weapon against trials. The most effective medicine against sickness. And the most valuable gift to someone you love.  So why don't we do it more often?  If you ask me to pray for you, I will absolutely agree to.  But then life gets in the way.  I am a Momma to 2 small, demanding boys, I have a husband to take care of, a household to run, I have commitments to our Ministry...I am human so sometimes I may forget a prayer request.  I know that we hear a dozen or more throughout the day and we cannot always remember them.  So what is the harm in taking the time, right then, and saying a prayer?  None, no harm at all.  If we took just 60 seconds to pray when someone asks us to can you imagine the results?  The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.  To be effectual, to be fervent, it cannot be forgotten. 

Ministry is so many small but important things.  There are so many ways to be a witness, to convey His love for others, but we must take the time to do them and to do them for the right reasons.  We must walk worthy of the vocation wherewith we are called.

Who Are You Lord? : I Am Peace

Joshua 1:9 KJV
Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

1 Thessalonians 5:3 KJV
And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Isaiah 9:6 KJV
For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

Philippians 4:7 KJV
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

We each have important dates in our lives. Our birthdays, our anniversaries, our children's birthdays, happy dates that we cherish.  Then there are the days of sorrow, dates when our loved ones have passed away, dates on which we've suffered tragedies.  I have several such dates in my life.  Dates that mark important, life altering events in my life.  And I have a date of peace.  A date when the Lord whispered His sweet peace to my soul, April 17, 2013.  It is no coincidence that April 17th also holds another significant place in my heart.

Every December 1st and April 17th I take flowers to my Lachlan's graveside. I take the flowers and I sit alone by the angel statue my Daddy placed there and I weep. I weep for the memories that I'll never have, I weep for the kisses I'll never place on his skinned knees, I weep for the empty arms that will never hold him again.  And I pray.  I pray that he knows that I would have loved him with every fiber of my being, no matter the disabilities he might have been born with. I pray that he knows that I have not forgotten him, that I see him in my heart running and playing and laughing with his brothers.  And I pray that God heal my heart, that He forgive me my anger and my bitterness, and that he give me the peace that my soul desperately needs. 

But what I didn't know, couldn't or perhaps wouldn't feel, was that each time I went to his graveside, my Lord was there with me to give me the strength and the courage I needed if I had only opened my heart to accept it.  But for too long after I lost Lachlan, I shut Him out.  I was buried too deep in my anger, sorrow, suffering and fear.  And when Kieran was born and my arms were empty no longer and my heart had begun to feel life once again, I was a little less angry, a little less sorrowful, a little less fearful. But the suffering remained.  I didn't have the peace I needed to end my suffering, to end the guilt and the grieving in my soul.  And again when Devlin was born, my arms and my heart were fuller, the anger and the sorrow dissipating.  But again the suffering remained.

We had been back in church for almost 4 months when Devlin was born.  And I had felt more life and more joy in those 4 months than I had in years.  My Lord was slowly but surely breaking down my barriers.  Several times in the next year I found myself in the alter, crying out to God for forgiveness for the years spent living out of His will and for the anger and resentment that had built against Him in my heart.  But there was one thing I hadn't learned: You will never truly find peace if you remain attached to the sin you've been forgiven of.  I kept going back to that alter because I was still attached to what He'd forgiven me of before I had even uttered the words to ask.  I was still attached to the guilt and grief of losing Lachlan, I was still attached to my anger at God because I still did not understand why He had taken my baby from me. And because I was still attached to those I could not find the peace I needed. The peace He wanted to give me.

The Prince of Peace desires to give me the Peace of God so that I can be made whole and preserved blameless until He comes for me.  He desires to keep my heart and my mind, my body and my soul, peaceful so that I can be of service to Him.  If I am wallowing in pity, in anger, sorrow, and doubt, how can I be of service to Him?  I can't because I can't even be a service to myself.

Finally, on April 17th, 2013, I was given peace.  I did something differently that day when I took the flowers to Lachlan's graveside.  I cleaned the angel statue, I arranged the flowers, and I sat down with my Bible in my lap with my face turned toward the sun and I asked the Lord one final time to forgive me and to give me the peace I needed. And I let go.  I didn't need to understand anymore why He had taken Lachlan from me, I needed only to know that he was with my Lord, in a perfect body, with a perfect mind, perfect sight, and perfect hearing. I needed only to know that he was walking the streets of gold with his Father.  I needed only to know that one day he would call me Momma.  And it was in that moment that it washed over me, His sweet peace, and it filled my soul to overflowing. It was in that moment that I finally understood.  He had given me Lachlan so that I would know what love was, so that I would understand a little of what it felt like to lose my only son.  He had given me Lachlan so that I could love Kieran and Devlin with a Christ-filled heart, so that I would protect them, so that I would lead them to Him so that my family could one day be made whole again.  When He gave me Lachlan, He gave me love, and now He has given me peace.

Peace In The Valley

Oh well, I'm tired and so weary

But I must go alone

Till the lord comes and calls, calls me away, oh yes

Well the morning's so bright

And the lamp is alight

And the night, night is as black as the sea, oh yes

There will be peace in the valley for me, some day

There will be peace in the valley for me, oh Lord I pray

There'll be no sadness, no sorrow

No trouble, trouble I see

There will be peace in the valley for me, for me

Well the bear will be gentle

And the wolves will be tame

And the lion shall lay down by the lamb, oh yes

And the beasts from the wild

Shall be lit by a child

And I'll be changed, changed from this creature that I am, oh yes

There will be peace in the valley for me, some day

There will be peace in the valley for me, oh Lord I pray

There'll be no sadness, no sorrow

No trouble, trouble I see

There will be peace in the valley for me, for me

Who Are You Lord? : I Am The Comforter

Psalms 139:17 KJV

How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!

John 14:16-18 KJV

16 And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever;

17 Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.

18 I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.

2 Corinthians 7:6 KJV

Nevertheless God, that comforteth those that are cast down, comforted us by the coming of Titus;

What need would we have for The Comforter if our lives were always comfortable?  Unfortunately it is taught by false teachers and preachers that if you are a Christian, your life will be perfect. You'll have a fancy house and expensive cars, you'll be rich and never want for anything, nothing bad will ever happen to you.  They lull new Christians, who lack the knowledge to know any different, into a false sense of security about what it means to have Salvation.  Salvation means your soul, your eternal life is secure, and your spirit will be made perfect and whole in the sight of the Lord because you are covered by the Blood.  Salvation does not mean your physical, worldly life will be perfect. In fact Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 1:5 that, For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ. We will have trials and tribulations here on earth, we will suffer in ways we never thought we could but our consolation aboundeth in Christ.  I would never want to trade my Heavenly treasures for earthly possessions.  

I am a worrier.  Always have been.  I would wake up in the middle of the night, so worried that I had forgotten my homework or that I was late for school that my heart was beating out of my chest and I could barely breathe.  I was married and hadn't been in school for years when this would happen.  When I become a Momma, suddenly the world was filled with dangers I'd never considered before.  The coffee tables are now emergency room trips waiting to happen, because inevitably little boys believe they can fly, a day at the park is filled with worry of broken bones, cuts and bruises, even trying new foods brings fears of allergic reactions. I simply think about them all the time and worry about them more often than not. And Psalms 119:17 tells us that The Lord knows our every thought and that they are precious to Him.  He knows our every thought, even those we are too ashamed, too afraid, too beaten down and broken to utter aloud. He knows them. And what does He do? He comforts us. He comforts those that are cast down. Whether we believe, in the middle of our anxiety, sorrow, or depression that He is there or not.  If we are one of His, if we have accepted Him as our Savior then He tells us He will send The Comforter to us, to dwell within us, never to leave.  He will not leave us comfortless.  I cannot tell you the nights I have lain awake worried about one thing or another, our boys, our finances, our future, our family...And do you know that all I had to do was pray to find the comfort I was so desperately seeking.  I only had to cry out unto Him.  Too often I use prayer as a last resort instead of my first response.  I look back at the years we were living out of the will of God and I wonder how I made it through a single day.  I am so ashamed to say that I would go days, weeks, even months, without saying a real prayer, without pouring my heart out to God.  The anxiety and stress that I suffered in those years was smothering.  I suffered several debilitating panic attacks.  I simply could not find comfort.  I simply was not looking in the right place for it.  

I have not suffered a single panic attack in over 2 years.  Even facing the possibility of losing our home did not send me into the state of panic that I lived in for years.  Does my anxiety sometimes start to get the better of me? Yes. And I know I must immediately get on my knees and pray.  Some days I am in constant prayer.  It is a constant battle to keep worry, anxiety, and fear beat back but I know that I am not alone.  He dwells within me. He will not leave me comfortless.

God didn't promise us days without pain, laughter without sorrow, nor sun without rain. But He did promise us Strength for the day, Comfort for the tears, and Light for the way.

Didn't I Walk On The Water

As I kneel in the darkness in the middle of the night

I’m praying for assurance everything’s gonna be alright

Lord I see another battle out in front of me

I’m afraid I won’t be able and I’ll go down in defeat

And He said, I walked on the water and I calmed the raging sea

I spoke to the wind, it hushed and I gave you peace

Didn’t I run to your rescue didn’t I hear you when you called

I walked right beside you just so you wouldn’t fall

Didn’t I leave all of Heaven just to die for your sin

I searched until I found you and I’d do it all again

He said, do you remember where I brought you from

Just take a look behind you at how far you’ve come

And everytime you asked me, didn’t I deliver you

So why would you be thinking that I wouldn’t see you through

And He said, I walked on the water and I calmed the raging sea

I spoke to the wind, it hushed and I gave you peace

Didn’t I run to your rescue didn’t I hear you when you called

I walked right beside you just so you wouldn’t fall

Didn’t I leave all of Heaven just to die for your sin

I searched until I found you and I’d do it all again

Now she’s talking to her father in a house that was once a home

She said my bills are coming due Lord and six days is not that long

She hears a voice so still and low

It says I’ve moved like that before

And I’ll do this little thing and I’ll give you so much more

And He said, I walked on the water and I calmed the raging sea

I spoke to the wind, it hushed and I gave you peace

Didn’t I run to your rescue didn’t I hear you when you called

I walked right beside you just so you wouldn’t fall

Didn’t I leave all of Heaven just to die for your sin

I searched until I found you and I’d do it all again