Fruits of the Spirit: Peace

Galatians 5:16-25 KJV

16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.

17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.

18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.

19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,

20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,

21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.

25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

Peace Is:

A settled confidence of mind (Philippians 4:7) from a right relationship with God (Philippians 4:9) unaffected by circumstantial change (Philippians 4:11).

To avoid spoiling watch for worry.

The angel in the picture above is Lachlan's angel. It is placed by his tiny grave. The flowers I take on the anniversaries of his delivery date and his due date. I have never shared a picture of his grave with anyone before. It is a place that only my family has been. When I sat down last night to begin this post I was going to go in another direction entirely. I was going to talk about the peace that God gives us from our worry and anxiety in our everyday lives. But I felt the Holy Ghost whisper his name and I knew what I had to do. 

These are a series of letters between my Papaw and me, that I have never shared with anyone, not even Brandon. I had not read them in years until tonight. It never ceases to amaze me when the Holy Ghost moves in my heart.

January 29, 2010

How are you? Great to hear from you. I was wondering if we were still on speaking terms. Now that I see you are still there and still numbered among the living, it just tickles me to death. Granny said "Hi" and she still loves you. Me on the other hand, well it is kinda like charity. Charity never faileth. Well just read 1 Corinthians13 KJV, that will tell you more then I can because you know I am limited...Gpop 

January 29, 2010 

My pulse is slowly returning, I wouldn't call it living just yet.  I have missed you and Granny.  I love you both so much.  It's funny that you mention 1 Corinthians 13. Did you know that it is my favorite passage in the Bible?  I had it read at my wedding and at the baby's service.  That tells me more than an "I love you" ever could.  I miss him so much Papaw and I don't know what to do about it.  I am so angry at God.  I do not hate Him but I don't understand why this has happened to me.  I wanted my baby more than anything and I feel so terribly empty without him.  I have considered terrible, terrible things but I can't bring myself to leave the rest of my family behind.  When will it stop hurting? Will I ever find peace?  I have so many questions and no answers.  I just want to be happy and whole again.  I love you.  Give Granny a kiss for me...Kenni

 January 30, 2010 

Honey you left me with a tough one.You came to the second best. God should be your first choice. I can't speak for Him. He does a lot of things that we as mortal humans can not explain or understand but we should except His wisdom and expertise. He is the greatest. He can see so far into the future and we can't. So we need to except what He does because He knows everything. You should not be angry at Him. He may have greater plans then what we could know. You know, we don't have the power to change the past.  You can't give up. The next best thing is start living again, not just existing. When you start living again the hurt will start to go away. Thank Him for what you have. Enjoy what you have. To find peace you need to look to the only One that has peace. John 14:27 (KJV) and for the other questions Mark 13:23 (KJV). You know, time is the greatest teacher of all. The only problem, it eventually kills all the students. Enjoy life all the time, every day, because it has an expiration date...Gpop

February 15, 2010

Papaw, I am sorry that I have taken so long to write back.  I don't like to talk about everything in front of Brandon because it upsets him and I know he is trying to stay strong for me, so the less he thinks about everything the better off he says he is.  I'm not sure if that is the best thing but I think about it all the time and that doesn't seem to be doing me any better.  I read the passages you told me to.  I even went a little further and read chapters 14 through 17 in John.  I should have read them a long time ago.  I know the He is my Comforter and that I should turn to Him because He is the peace that my heart is missing.  I know that my baby is with the Father and that truly that is where he is the happiest. But I am selfish and I want him here with me.  I do at least have the comfort that I will see him again one day.  I picture it and it is perfect. He'll be in the arms of Jesus and when I get to heaven he will run to my arms and I will finally be able to hold him again and this time he'll be able to hold me back.  I know that there is a reason for everything that happens and I may never know what it is. But if I did, it may be easier to deal with.  The doctors ran some tests and they said that I had a virus that is called CMV and that even though it's rare, if the baby got it, it could have been fatal.  And had it not been fatal and he had it, there was a 90% chance he would have been born deaf and blind and mentally challenged.  I would have loved him anyway!!!  I know that that is no life for a child to live.  He wouldn't have been happy. At least now he'll be able to run and play and see how beautiful heaven is and hear the angels.  I am trying to get better.  It is day to day for me.  Some are better than others and sometimes even the tiniest reminder can set me off and I'm crying for hours.  I guess that is to be expected and everyone says it will get easier.  But I don't want to forget him.  And sometimes I feel like if I don't hang on to every little thing, that I'll forget something and soon he will fade away.  I don't want that to happen.  All I have left are my memories and the few hours that I had with him.  I am sorry to bombard you with all of this but I feel like you understand and I love you so much for that!  Thank you for just being there to listen and to remind me that He is there is to listen too.

Please give Granny a kiss for me and tell her I love her!  I love you!...

Kenni

February 15, 2010

Memories are past history. Some of them I would like to forget. I was young and dumb.

Made a lot of mistakes. But it only takes a minute to recall most all of them even though we 

try hard to forget. We learn by trials, troubles and mistakes. I have been around a long time b

eing a recovering idiot. I made life hard on myself. I learn't to leave past history behind 

and try to create better, future history. That means live clean, love hard, challenge life and 

enjoy all of it you can. And having regrets or depression stifles all the real joy out of 

life. It is a one day at a time thing. 

Even with a small brain and a little work people can 

achieve the greatest of things. It's not hard. I even enjoy what I call life, though most people 

would call it a waste of time. They just don't get it. Life is not all it is cracked up to be. Y

ou are an individual. You have the opportunity to make your own way. And the way you do 

that is with truth and honesty, forgiving yourself first and thinking of others...Gpop

My Papaw is a wise man. And he was right. Time did lessen the pain and living life eased the hurt. But I was still seeking the one thing I needed most...Peace. And Papaw was right about that too. I had to turn to the only One who had it...Jesus. My peace didn't come for more than 3 years after these letters were written. My peace didn't come until I had righted my relationship with God. I had to let go of the anger, the hurt, the bitterness, and the doubt and second guessing His will. It was not easy to do. But when I found myself in a heap in the alter one Sunday, crying out for forgiveness for the years I'd spent away from Him in rebellion and anger, when I finally asked and was forgiven, the peace came soon after.  

Fruits of the Spirit: Joy

Galatians 5:16-25 KJV
16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.
19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

Joy is:
A pre-determined attitude (Philippians 4:4) of praise for God's goodness (Psalms 5:11) by maintaining an eternal focus (Psalms 16:11) in the midst of difficulty (Hebrews 12:2).

To avoid spoiling watch for complaining.

I am not a morning person. Far from it. I thrive on late night deadlines, reading until the wee hours of the morning, movie marathons and snacking in front of the tv while everyone else is sleeping. And I pay the consequences every morning when Kieran, a chip off his Daddy's block, wakes at daylight, bright eyed and bushy tailed. He comes bounding into my bedroom ready to start the day, while Devlin, who is no more a morning person than I am, and I try to burrow further under the covers. Generally my mood is soured before my feet even hit the floor because I don't want to wake up. And I have no one to blame but myself. I lose my joy before I've even had time to wipe the sleep from my eyes. And in losing mine, I tarnish the joy for my boys and Brandon if he's unlucky enough to be home when my grumpy hind end finally rolls out of bed.  

I know what time Kieran wakes up. He's like clockwork. Rarely does he sleep past 7:30am. But I also crave the quiet time I have to myself after they're all in bed. So I can either sacrifice my alone time which is when I blog and do my homework, or I can change my attitude. I can pre-determine my joy. Philippians 4:4 tells me to rejoice in the Lord always. Always. Not just when Brandon is sweet enough to take the boys for the morning and let me sleep in. Not just when I luck up and Kieran sleeps until 9:00am. I should be rejoicing when I hear his little feet bound through the house and jump into my bed because that means he is alive.When my boys were newborns, I had almost an irrational fear of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. I was terrified of it because it seemed like there was nothing I could do to prevent it. So instead of sleeping when they slept, I hovered over them, checking their breathing constantly. Somehow, even though they have outgrown the SIDS stage, I still find myself checking their breathing at night before I go to bed. If I can't see them moving on the video monitor, I creep into their room and lay my hand on their chests just so I can rest assured that they are still breathing. So my blonde haired, blue eyed, alarm clock is absolutely cause for rejoicing because the Lord has blessed me with another day with him. And tomorrow at 7:30am, instead of grumbling and shushing him, I am going to pull him in close and cover his beautiful face in kisses.

And then as we go about our day, I am going to continue to praise God's goodness because it is everywhere I turn. Instead of complaining that Devlin dumped his lunch on the floor, again, I will praise the Lord for having enough food to feed him because there was a time when I wasn't sure we'd have groceries for the week. Instead of complaining that Kieran didn't pick up his toys in the living room and it looks like a bomb exploded, I am going to praise the Lord that I have a living room to clean, because it was not so long ago that there was a very real chance we'd be without a home. Instead of calling my Momma to complain about the boys being wild, I will praise the Lord for two healthy boys who can roughhouse and play with each other because I remember a time when I thought my arms and my heart would be empty, with no babies to hold. Yes, God's goodness has filled my life with joy.

Tomorrow I will maintain an eternal focus on my Lord, even in the midst of difficulty because in His presence is the fullness of joy, at His right hand are pleasures for evermore. When I lose my joy, and I've spoiled my day by complaining, I lose my focus on God. I get out of the Spirit and if I'm out of the Spirit, how can I raise my boys to have a focus on God? Joy and the Lord go hand in hand. I cannot have one without the other. There is nothing in my life that should be able to steal my joy in the Lord. Unless I let it. Hebrews tells us that Christ endured the cross for the joy that was set before Him, despising the shame all the while. What was the joy that was set before Him? The cleansing of my sins, my pardon bought with His blood, my name written in the Lamb's Book of Life. That was His joy. That was the reason He endured the cross. For me. For my boys. For you.

Tomorrow I will wake up with a pre-determined attitude of praise for God's goodness by maintaining an eternal focus in the midst of difficulty. 

In the morning when I rise, give me Jesus.

Give me Joy.

BE YE GLAD

Words and Music by M.K.Blanchard 

In these days of confused situations.

In these nights of a restless remorse,

When the heart and the soul of the nation,

lay wounded and cold as a corpse.

From the grave of the innocent Adam,

comes a song bringing joy to the sad.

Oh your cry has been heard and the ransom,

has been paid up in full, Be Ye Glad.

Oh, Be Ye Glad, Be Ye Glad,

Every debt that you ever had

Has been paid up in full by the grace of the Lord,

Be Ye Glad, Be Ye Glad, Be Ye Glad.

From the dungeon a rumor is stirring.

You have heard it again and again.

But this time the cell keys are turning,

and outside there are faces of friends.

And though your body lay weary from wasting,

and your eyes show the sorrow they've had.

Oh the love that your heart is now tasting

has opened the gate, Be Ye Glad.

Oh, Be Ye Glad, Be Ye Glad,

Every debt that you ever had

Has been paid up in full by the grace of the Lord,

Be Ye Glad, Be Ye Glad, Be Ye Glad.

So be like lights on the rim of the water,

giving hope in a storm sea of night.

Be a refuge amidst the slaughter,

for these fugitives in their flight.

For you are timeless and part of a puzzle.

You are winsome and young as a lad.

And there is no disease or no struggle,

that can pull you from God, Be Ye Glad.

Oh, Be Ye Glad, Be Ye Glad,

Every debt that you ever had

Has been paid up in full by the grace of the Lord,

Be Ye Glad, Be Ye Glad, Be Ye Glad.

Who Are You Lord? : I Am The Most High

Jeremiah 29:11 KJV 
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. 

Psalms 7:17 KJV 
I will praise the LORD according to his righteousness: and will sing praise to the name of the LORD most high. 

Psalms 83:18 KJV 
That men may know that thou, whose name alone is JEHOVAH, art the most high over all the earth.

A knowing woman who is like the Lord at the break of day.  What an amazing aspiration. I want to be that woman. I want to be a knowing woman, a woman who has the heart knowledge and the head knowledge of her Jesus so that she can be like Him, not just at the break of the day but all the day long.  Kendra Michelle Dawn literally means to be a knowing woman who is like the Lord at the break of day. My parents must've been party to divine inspiration the day they decided on my name. I can aspire to be this woman because I know that He has a plan for me.

     " Known unto God are all His works, for known unto Him are all His thoughts (Acts 15:18) and His works agree exactly with His thoughts; He does all according to the counsel of His will. We often do not know our own thoughts, nor know our own mind, but God is never at any uncertainty within Himself. We are sometimes ready to fear that God's designs concerning us are all against us; but He knows the contrary concerning His own people, that they are thoughts of good and not of evil; even that which seems evil is designed for good. His thoughts are all working towards the expected end, which He will give in due time.  He will give them to see the end of their trouble; though it last long, it shall not last always. When things are at the worst they will begin to mend; and He will give them to see the glorious perfection of their deliverance; for, as for God, His work is perfect. He that in the beginning finished the heavens and the earth, and all the hosts of both, will finish all the blessings of both to his people. When He begins in ways of mercy He will make an end. God does nothing by halves. He will give them to see the expectation, that end which they desire and hope for, and have been long waiting for. He will give them, not the expectations of their fears, nor the expectations of their fancies, but the expectations of their faith, the end which He has promised and which will turn for the best to them." --Matthew Henry on Jeremiah 29:11

The Most High has a plan for me, an expected end, and I must have the expectation of faith to see it done.  I must sing His praises in all that I do and all that I am so that every man may know the He is The Most High.  I did something tonight that I have never done as an adult before.  I wrote about my Savior in a school assignment. I recently enrolled in an online university and I am very excited and very apprehensive at the same time.  Our goal has always been for our ministry to grow into something concrete. A physical place where those who are hurting can go to for comfort and guidance, a place where they can go to hear the Gospel given in a truthful but loving way, without casting them down.  Our long-term goal is to open a Christian counseling center in our community. To do this the Lord burdened my heart with going back to school for my Bachelor of Psychology degree with a concentration in Human Services so that I will have the knowledge I need to help people from all walks of life.  Brandon will also be, Lord willing, beginning his Theology degree in the Fall.  These are major life changes taking place in our lives and I believe they are part of our expected end.  

Tonight, as I was completing a practice assignment for my orientation course, I took an opportunity to talk about my Savior.  It was a practice assignment to walk us through submitting our future assignments in the online classroom, so I honestly don't know that it will even be seen by another person.  But that wasn't the point of it.  It was for me.  The assignment was to write a one page essay on the academic, emotional, and practical challenges and opportunities that being an online student presents. This week while going through the many tutorials and resources that the university provides new students, I quickly came to realize that I may very well be out of my academic depth and most certainly my comfort zone. The fear and the anxiety naturally began to well up inside of me.  But in writing this essay tonight, the Holy Ghost came by, and whispered His sweet peace to me.  This is the paragraph from my essay:

Second I must overcome the emotional challenge presented to me, fear and anxiety about being a new student in such a different atmosphere.  I am no longer fresh out of high school and the lessons I learned in English about correct citations in my writing as well as my grammar are no longer as sharp in my mind as they were almost ten years ago.  Knowing that I am not up to speed, that I am by most accounts, rusty, is a fearful thing. This knowledge creates a lot of anxiety that intrudes upon my goals of attaining my degree and setting an example for my sons.  For me overcoming this challenge is spiritual.  I rely first and foremost upon my Lord and Savior and it is to Him that I must turn over my fear and my anxiety.  His Word tells me in Philippians Chapter 1 Verse 6 that “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a goodwork in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:” It is through Him that I will conquer my fears and anxiety and grasp the opportunities that being a new student at Walden University offers me.

The Lord Most High not only has a plan for me but He has begun a good work in me and His Word tells me that He see it through until the day He returns to take me home. What better comfort and encouragement could I ask for?  If I aspire to become a knowing woman who is like the Lord at the break of day I believe I will meet my expected end.