Galatians 5:16-25 KJV
16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.
19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
Peace Is:
A settled confidence of mind (Philippians 4:7) from a right relationship with God (Philippians 4:9) unaffected by circumstantial change (Philippians 4:11).
To avoid spoiling watch for worry.
The angel in the picture above is Lachlan's angel. It is placed by his tiny grave. The flowers I take on the anniversaries of his delivery date and his due date. I have never shared a picture of his grave with anyone before. It is a place that only my family has been. When I sat down last night to begin this post I was going to go in another direction entirely. I was going to talk about the peace that God gives us from our worry and anxiety in our everyday lives. But I felt the Holy Ghost whisper his name and I knew what I had to do.
These are a series of letters between my Papaw and me, that I have never shared with anyone, not even Brandon. I had not read them in years until tonight. It never ceases to amaze me when the Holy Ghost moves in my heart.
January 29, 2010
How are you? Great to hear from you. I was wondering if we were still on speaking terms. Now that I see you are still there and still numbered among the living, it just tickles me to death. Granny said "Hi" and she still loves you. Me on the other hand, well it is kinda like charity. Charity never faileth. Well just read 1 Corinthians13 KJV, that will tell you more then I can because you know I am limited...Gpop
January 29, 2010
My pulse is slowly returning, I wouldn't call it living just yet. I have missed you and Granny. I love you both so much. It's funny that you mention 1 Corinthians 13. Did you know that it is my favorite passage in the Bible? I had it read at my wedding and at the baby's service. That tells me more than an "I love you" ever could. I miss him so much Papaw and I don't know what to do about it. I am so angry at God. I do not hate Him but I don't understand why this has happened to me. I wanted my baby more than anything and I feel so terribly empty without him. I have considered terrible, terrible things but I can't bring myself to leave the rest of my family behind. When will it stop hurting? Will I ever find peace? I have so many questions and no answers. I just want to be happy and whole again. I love you. Give Granny a kiss for me...Kenni
January 30, 2010
Honey you left me with a tough one.You came to the second best. God should be your first choice. I can't speak for Him. He does a lot of things that we as mortal humans can not explain or understand but we should except His wisdom and expertise. He is the greatest. He can see so far into the future and we can't. So we need to except what He does because He knows everything. You should not be angry at Him. He may have greater plans then what we could know. You know, we don't have the power to change the past. You can't give up. The next best thing is start living again, not just existing. When you start living again the hurt will start to go away. Thank Him for what you have. Enjoy what you have. To find peace you need to look to the only One that has peace. John 14:27 (KJV) and for the other questions Mark 13:23 (KJV). You know, time is the greatest teacher of all. The only problem, it eventually kills all the students. Enjoy life all the time, every day, because it has an expiration date...Gpop
February 15, 2010
Papaw, I am sorry that I have taken so long to write back. I don't like to talk about everything in front of Brandon because it upsets him and I know he is trying to stay strong for me, so the less he thinks about everything the better off he says he is. I'm not sure if that is the best thing but I think about it all the time and that doesn't seem to be doing me any better. I read the passages you told me to. I even went a little further and read chapters 14 through 17 in John. I should have read them a long time ago. I know the He is my Comforter and that I should turn to Him because He is the peace that my heart is missing. I know that my baby is with the Father and that truly that is where he is the happiest. But I am selfish and I want him here with me. I do at least have the comfort that I will see him again one day. I picture it and it is perfect. He'll be in the arms of Jesus and when I get to heaven he will run to my arms and I will finally be able to hold him again and this time he'll be able to hold me back. I know that there is a reason for everything that happens and I may never know what it is. But if I did, it may be easier to deal with. The doctors ran some tests and they said that I had a virus that is called CMV and that even though it's rare, if the baby got it, it could have been fatal. And had it not been fatal and he had it, there was a 90% chance he would have been born deaf and blind and mentally challenged. I would have loved him anyway!!! I know that that is no life for a child to live. He wouldn't have been happy. At least now he'll be able to run and play and see how beautiful heaven is and hear the angels. I am trying to get better. It is day to day for me. Some are better than others and sometimes even the tiniest reminder can set me off and I'm crying for hours. I guess that is to be expected and everyone says it will get easier. But I don't want to forget him. And sometimes I feel like if I don't hang on to every little thing, that I'll forget something and soon he will fade away. I don't want that to happen. All I have left are my memories and the few hours that I had with him. I am sorry to bombard you with all of this but I feel like you understand and I love you so much for that! Thank you for just being there to listen and to remind me that He is there is to listen too.
Please give Granny a kiss for me and tell her I love her! I love you!...
Kenni
February 15, 2010
Memories are past history. Some of them I would like to forget. I was young and dumb.
Made a lot of mistakes. But it only takes a minute to recall most all of them even though we
try hard to forget. We learn by trials, troubles and mistakes. I have been around a long time b
eing a recovering idiot. I made life hard on myself. I learn't to leave past history behind
and try to create better, future history. That means live clean, love hard, challenge life and
enjoy all of it you can. And having regrets or depression stifles all the real joy out of
life. It is a one day at a time thing.
Even with a small brain and a little work people can
achieve the greatest of things. It's not hard. I even enjoy what I call life, though most people
would call it a waste of time. They just don't get it. Life is not all it is cracked up to be. Y
ou are an individual. You have the opportunity to make your own way. And the way you do
that is with truth and honesty, forgiving yourself first and thinking of others...Gpop
My Papaw is a wise man. And he was right. Time did lessen the pain and living life eased the hurt. But I was still seeking the one thing I needed most...Peace. And Papaw was right about that too. I had to turn to the only One who had it...Jesus. My peace didn't come for more than 3 years after these letters were written. My peace didn't come until I had righted my relationship with God. I had to let go of the anger, the hurt, the bitterness, and the doubt and second guessing His will. It was not easy to do. But when I found myself in a heap in the alter one Sunday, crying out for forgiveness for the years I'd spent away from Him in rebellion and anger, when I finally asked and was forgiven, the peace came soon after.
