Fruits of the Spirit: Temperance

Galatians 5:16-25 KJV

16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.

17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.

18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.

19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,

20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,

21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.

25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

Temperance Is:

The growing realization that one's desire to please self was crucified with Christ, and replaced with a desire to glorify God (Galatians 2:20).

To avoid spoiling watch for pride.

I did not want to get up and go to church this morning. I worked on homework last night until after midnight. My boys were up at 3:16 this morning, climbing into our queen sized bed, asking for water, squirming around, and finally falling back asleep. I was tired and weary this morning at 7:30 when Kieran had an accident in the bed. Water in the middle of the night is not a good idea. I was not looking forward to a service wrangling my overtired boys in the pew, trying to keep them quiet, trying not to be an utter distraction. I wanted nothing more than to climb back into bed and sleep until noon.

But I didn't. 

The Lord has been working on my heart in the last 6 months since we have started our Ministry and blog. I am closer to Him now than I have ever been. Had it been left up to me and my selfish, prideful desires, I would've made some excuse not to go. But I knew that my presence in the house of the Lord was important to Him. I knew that by being there, by being faithful to Him, by setting an example for my boys, that I was glorifying and honoring my Savior. And so I pressed on this morning. We got dressed and ready and made it to church on time. And the blessing we got in return today for simply going to church to worship Him was amazing. 

Today I witnessed what the power of God can do. I saw a man stand behind the pulpit and pour out his heart and soul to a congregation for his Savior. I saw him speak with power, authority, and reverence for God, from God. I saw a man weep with conviction and joy. I saw a man preach with love for a lost and dying generation and for saints in glory. 

I sat in awe of the power of God and I wept with thankfulness. You see this man I saw and heard today was my husband. A man I have loved with all of my heart for nearly ten years. A man I didn't think it possible to love any more than I already did. And yet, as I sat there and watched him give glory and honor to our Savior, I felt myself falling more in love with him and the new man he is becoming. 

Romans 6:6-10 KJV

6 Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.

7 For he that is dead is freed from sin.

8 Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him:

9 Knowing that Christ being raised from the dead dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him.

10 For in that he died, he died unto sin once: but in that he liveth, he liveth unto God.

Crucified with the old man is our desire to please ourselves. 3 years ago, church was the last place you'd have found either of us. 3 years ago Brandon was more likely to have had a hangover than an overdose of Jesus. 3 years ago we were on the brink of divorce. Oh but what victory there is in Jesus! He has so transformed our lives they are nearly unrecognizable. He has given us love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, and now temperance. He has built upon the love we had for each other and for Him, as deeply buried and as hard to find as it was sometimes, and he has multiplied in exponentially. He is continually changing our hearts, shaping and molding us in the servants He'd have us be. And I absolutely cannot thank Him enough. 

Galatians 2:20 KJV

I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.

Heeding to the will of God, knowing that I put my selfish desires and my pride away this morning and practiced temperance, means that I am learning not only to live in the Spirit but to walk in the Spirit as well. It means that I am living by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me, for you. It means that I had victory over my flesh, over sin, and over Satan. Victory in Jesus.

Victory in Jesus

I heard an old, old story,

How a Savior came from glory,

How He gave His life on Calvary

To save a wretch like me;

I heard about His groaning,

Of His precious blood's atoning,

Then I repented of my sins

And won the victory.

O victory in Jesus,

My Savior, forever.

He sought me and bought me

With His redeeming blood;

He loved me ere I knew Him

And all my love is due Him,

He plunged me to victory,

Beneath the cleansing flood.

I heard about His healing,

Of His cleansing pow'r revealing.

How He made the lame to walk again

And caused the blind to see;

And then I cried, "Dear Jesus,

Come and heal my broken spirit,"

And somehow Jesus came and bro't

To me the victory.

O victory in Jesus,

My Savior, forever.

He sought me and bought me

With His redeeming blood;

He loved me ere I knew Him

And all my love is due Him,

He plunged me to victory,

Beneath the cleansing flood.

I heard about a mansion

He has built for me in glory.

And I heard about the streets of gold

Beyond the crystal sea;

About the angels singing,

And the old redemption story,

And some sweet day I'll sing up there

The song of victory.

O victory in Jesus,

My Savior, forever.

He sought me and bought me

With His redeeming blood;

He loved me ere I knew Him

And all my love is due Him,

He plunged me to victory,

Beneath the cleansing flood.

Fruits of the Spirit: Meekness

Galatians 5:16-25 KJV

16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.

17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.

18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.

19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,

20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,

21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.

25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

Meekness Is:

A tender spirit purposefully expressed (Romans 2:4) and sacrificially given (Ephesians 2:7) especially to the undeserving (Titus 3:4).

To avoid spoiling watch for a judgmental spirit.

You wouldn't think that meekness would be such a difficult characteristic to try to maintain. After all, how hard is it to be nice to someone? Well, sometimes it can be extremely difficult. I believe that is why it is 8th in line behind love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness and faithfulness. We've got to get those down pat before we can truly have a meek spirit to all those we encounter, even those we deem undeserving of kindness.

Anyone who knows me knows that the sun rises and sets in my boys as far as I'm concerned. I love them more than words can possibly express. I prayed and begged God for them, because there was a dark time in my life when I didn't think my heart would ever be whole again. And if you know me, you'll know that I have two of the roughest, rowdiest, rambunctious boys you've ever seen. I've called Brandon or my Momma in tears more times than I can count because I've been overwhelmed, maxed out, done in.  I've sat and cried out to God over and over for help, guidance, and direction in learning how to teach them, discipline them, and love them without breaking their beautiful spirits.

And this morning God graced me with an answer. He broke my heart in utter conviction. 

My hard to handle boys are not my problem. I am.

My boys need me to have a tender spirit purposefully expressed and sacrificially given. Not my bad attitude. Not my temperamental mood swings. If I can show meekness to a rank stranger on the street then I am capable of showing it to my family, the ones who ought to be the easiest to be kind to.

But it's not always easy. Being a Momma means being on call 24/7, no sick days, no vacation days. There is the occasional night spent at Poppa and Nanna's but our time apart is rarely spent on relaxation. So I do get frustrated and overwhelmed at times and I find myself being hateful and ill with the ones I love the most. 

Today the Lord has shown me that in writing this series on the Fruits of the Spirit, my heart and soul have been changing. I find myself being more purposeful in my actions and words than I was before. I am less quick to fly off the handle when Devlin throws a whole roll of toilet paper in the toilet or when Kieran mimics my own stubborn attitude. They deserve my kindness, perhaps more than any other, because in my kindness, in my meekness dwells Christ, the only true kind man that ever was or ever will be. I must be intentional in my walking and living in the Spirit so that I am leading by example, teaching my boys that I not only talk like a follower of Christ but that I live like one too. I must teach them what it means to be a Christian so that when the Holy Ghost beckons them they will answer without hesitation. If my actions were to ever hinder their salvation in any way I would be devastated. 

I must show them that they should never mistake meekness for weakness for it is in the moments that we apply meekness that our strength is revealed. We must be kind to those we believe undeserving of it, we must sacrifice our pride to do it if necessary, we must forsake the judgmental spirits, we must be kind to everyone we meet because they are each fighting a hard battle we know nothing about. We must strive to live as much like Christ Jesus as possible because it was His tender spirit that was purposefully expressed in the ultimate sacrifice to the most undeserving of sinners, you and I.

Fruits of the Spirit: Faithfulness

Galatians 5:16-25 KJV

16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.

17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.

18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.

19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,

20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,

21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.

25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

Faithfulness Is:

A promise (Romans 3:3, Lamentations 3:23) to keep one's word, and do one's best (1 Thessalonians 1:3) with a servant-attitude focused on the Master's approval (Matthew 25:21).

To avoid spoiling watch for weariness, laziness, procrastination, and discouragement.

Ask me how I am at any given point in the day and I'll probably give you one of the above answers. I'm either tired and weary, being lazy, procrastinating and avoiding something, or I'm just downright discouraged.  Exactly the perfect conditions to spoil the fruit of faithfulness. We know that the Fruits of the Spirit build one upon the other so we know what the perfect conditions to ripen our faithfulness to harvest are. They are love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness and goodness. I need to fill my days with these fruits so that I can be faithful to my Savior, so that I can walk in His Spirit as I have been commanded to do.

Perhaps the most important part of faithfulness is the servant-attitude focused on the Master's approval and no one else's. In writing this blog I often struggle with discouragement. Sometimes I feel like there is little to no point in writing these posts because perhaps I don't get the volume of feedback I'd like from the audience I had hoped to reach.  I let myself get bogged down in looking for approval from my peers instead of my Master. Do I need encouragement from my brothers and sisters in Christ? Yes! Absolutely! But ultimately it is His approval that I should crave. It was Him after all that gave His life so that I could live a life covered by the blood. Yet, although I pray for guidance before writing any of my posts, I still find myself second guessing what I've written until I get an "atta girl" from family or friends.  I've told my Momma this before. She scolded me. And I needed it. She told me that second guessing what the Holy Ghost had given me would do nothing but irk Him and I certainly didn't want that. She's right. If I ask Him to use me, to guide me, to give me the words He'd have me use, and then I doubt what He gave me, I'm failing in my faithfulness, in my promise to do my best.

I believe that God gives each of us a specific and unique gift, with one outcome in mind: to be profitable in the Gospel, to use our talent to point others to Christ.  In Matthew 25:14-30 we find Jesus telling the parable of the talents.  The Master gave to each servant according to his abilities. The man with 5 talents and the man with 2 talents each received the same amount of praise because they were profitable, they had each doubled their talents. The third man hid his 1 talent in fear and was cast into outer darkness where there was weeping and gnashing of teeth because he was unprofitable.  

This parable isn't speaking of money but of our individual ability, our specific and unique gift, to serve God. Because although Salvation is not of works, our Salvation will give us the desire to do good works for our Savior.

We must be rich in the fruit of our faithfulness to be profitable for Christ even when we do not always understand the happenings of our lives. 

Faith is a deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time. --Oswald Chambers

When I miscarried in my 5th pregnancy in January this year, I had no idea what God's reasoning was.  I felt that we were finally getting our lives back on track and that a baby was going to multiply our joy exponentially. But God said, "Not now."  I couldn't understand His will at the time but I made the deliberate choice to have confidence, to have faith in Him. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that we'd have founded Help the Hurt Ministry and odds are, we wouldn't have with a baby on the way. Finishing my degree is something I've tried to do a couple of times in the past and now, I'm praying, it's going to become a reality, slowly but surely. Brandon too, is on his way to getting a college degree. God has given us a mission and we want to be faithful enough to see it through to completion. My heart sill aches with the desire to have a baby, but again, I have to be faithful and know that the Lord will answer my prayer in His own time.

Esther 4:14b KJV

And who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?

We have been put here on this earth, in these specific circumstances, for a time such as this. We all know in our heart what our calling is, how we can serve our Lord and Savior in the best way possible. Our faithfulness is our promise to heed to our calling and to do our best as servants seeking the Master's approval.

Fruits of the Spirit: Goodness

Galatians 5:16-25 KJV

16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.
19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

Goodness Is:
A focused resolve (2 Thessalonians 1:11) that drives us to become actively involved in the life of another (2 Chronicles 24:16) consistently expressed through generosity (Nehemiah 9:25).

To avoid spoiling watch for selfishness.

What could be a better definition of goodness than charitable contributions? They require us to become actively involved in the life of another which we express through the generosity of a monetary donation.  But sometimes I think we miss an important part of the definition of goodness, the focused resolve.  Sometimes our charitable contributions become less about the charity and more about how it makes us feel, more about a tax write off, more about how it makes us look to those around us.  The key to avoid spoiling the fruit of goodness is to watch for selfishness. It is selfish motivation that causes us to make a donation to any good cause simply because it makes us look better in the eyes of our peers.

My post tonight serves a dual purpose. It is a post about the fruit of the Spirit of goodness that God calls us to live and walk in and it is also my stand on the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.

We've all seen it. The videos have bombarded our social media newsfeeds. And according to the ALS Association website, the videos are working. $79.7 million dollars have been raised for ALS research from July 29, 2014-August 25, 2014, compared to $2.5 million raised during the same time period last year. I have family and friends who have participated in it and I've even been challenged myself. In fact, I almost made my own video tonight, until I saw another link in my newsfeed. A link about what kind of research the ALS Association uses these donations for. So I got curious and I began to do some research of my own.

The ALS Association uses embryonic stem cells in their research. Research supported by President Barack Obama, who in March 2009 revoked previous Executive Orders limiting government funding for human embryonic stem cell research with an Executive Order of his own. 

"Stem cells are cells that have the ability to divide for indefinite periods in culture and give rise to multiple specialized cell types. They can develop into blood, bone, brain, muscle, skin and other organs. Embryonic stem cells are undifferentiated cells that have the ability to form any adult cell. Human embryonic stem cells are derived from fertilized embryos less than a week old." (www.alsa.org)

According to the National Institutes of Health website, these embryonic stem cells are not only harvested from in-vitro fertilized eggs but from fetal tissue as well. 

These embryos were fertilized for reproductive puposes and when they were no longer needed for that purpose, they were donated to research.

What this means to a Pro-Life Christian like myself, is that they are taking fertilized eggs, embryos, babies, and snuffing out those tiny lives for the furtherance of research.  It also means that they are using stem cells harvested from the tissue of aborted babies,

Is it justified because those stem cells could perhaps cure a terrible disease?

Do we kill the innocent to save the afflicted?

Where is the goodness in that?

There is only one Innocent whose life can save the afflicted. My Lord and Savior, Christ Jesus. And His life was GIVEN willingly not TAKEN mercilessly.

Our focused resolve should be on leading the lost to Christ, on protecting the innocents whose life begins at conception, whether it be via in-vitro fertilization or not, and on praying for an ethical cure to be found for the multitude of diseases this world has as a result of our sin.

We should become actively involved in the lives of others, the lost, the afflicted, the innocent, by sharing with them the Gospel of Christ, by praying for them, by loving them.

This should be consistently expressed through the generous amount of time we spend in prayer, in talking with our Savior, in walking with the Spirit.  

Pray for a cure. Protect innocent lives. 

Numbers 10:32 KJV
And it shall be, if thou go with us, yea, it shall be, that what goodness the LORD shall do unto us, the same will we do unto thee.


Resources:

ALS Association 

National Institutes of Health

Northeast Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis Consortium

Fruits of the Spirit: Gentleness

Galatians 5:16-25 KJV

16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.
19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

Gentleness Is:
An attitude of humility (James 1:21) stirred by a grateful spirit (Numbers 12:3) revealed in a tenderness towards other (Ephesians 4:2) sustained by a growing trust in God (Matthew 5:5).

To avoid spoiling watch for bitterness.

Imagine yourself living in a house.

God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and fixing the leaks in the roof and so on. You knew those jobs needed doing and so you were not surprised. But presently, He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts and does not seem to make sense. 

What on earth is He up to?

The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of...throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage.

But He is building a palace.

--C.S. Lewis

So has been my journey of motherhood. I didn't mean to turn this series into one on parenting. And it may not continue to be so after tonight's post. But I suppose the Lord knew that this was the direction that I needed to go in the most. Aside from Him, I've never wanted anything more than to be a Momma. So on the days when being a Momma is the hardest thing I've ever done, on the days when I crawl into bed crying from exhaustion and fear that I'm doing more harm than good, on the days when I wonder how on earth I'm going to make it until Brandon gets home, on those days it is difficult to remember that my boys aren't a distraction from more important work, they are the most important work. They are the most important work because their souls hang in the balance (Proverbs 15:11). I have the promise that the Lord will become their Salvation if they but believe on Him. The most important job I have as a Momma is to point them to Christ in every single thing I do. I must live Him, breathe Him, walk and talk Him. They must know that He is the answer for every problem that they face.  

And just like the house that C.S. Lewis talks about, Christ is moving in and tearing down the walls I've built around what I think being a parent looks like. 

I struggle with being longsuffering and patient and in that same regard I struggle with being gentle. I am hasty to dole out discipline in the midst of frustration and anger. I have seen my boys flinch when I raise my voice, I’ve seen them cower in fear. Is this how I want to raise my children? In fear? With a broken spirit? How do I walk that fine line between instilling respect and causing true fear?

I choose gentleness. If I raise my voice, may it be only in praise. If I clench my fists, may it be only in prayer. –Max Lucado

In Jesus Christ’s three and a half years of preaching and teaching, not once did He turn away someone in anger or frustration. The only time we see Him raise a hand in anger is to turn the tables over of the moneychangers and cast them out of the temple because they had defiled the house of God, they were profiting off of the sins of God’s chosen people. (Matthew 21:12)  Instead, He gently rebukes them and tells them to go and sin no more. (John 8:11)

1 Peter 3:4 tells me that a meek and quiet spirit is in the sight of God a great price. To be meek not only means to be quiet and gentle but to be obedient.

I am not gentle by nature but I can be gentle by obedience. –Lysa TerKeurst

If I want to be a Godly Momma, I have to learn gentleness. I have to have an attitude of humility that is stirred by a grateful spirit. Grateful that God has chosen me to be the Momma to my boys. Grateful that He has blessed me with 2 of the most beautiful and magnificent blessings I could ever hold in my heart. I must reveal a tenderness towards them that is sustained by a growing trust in God, a trust in God that believes that He will guide me in pointing them towards His Son. A trust in God that puts my skill in parenting in His hands to be taught love, joy, peace, longsuffering and gentleness. And I must turn to God with any bitterness or resentment that I may feel on the difficult days to avoid spoiling my gentleness. If I let those take up residence in my newly built palace then it will crumble around me. I may not ever be a perfect Momma, but Christ covers my flaws with His own gentleness.

In His gentleness, He gives us grace.

Grace has a face. It is the face of compassion, of comfort, safety, and acceptance. It is the face of unconditional love. It is the face of a parent. Grace has a face…It’s yours. –L. R. Knost

Fruits of the Spirit: Longsuffering

Galatians 5:16-25 KJV
16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.
19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

Longsuffering Is:
A learned attitude (Colossians 1:11) revealed through a joyful willingness (James 1:2) to remain under difficulty (James 1:3-4) in order to learn God's lessons (James 5:11). 

To avoid spoiling watch for an unwillingness to submit.

Colossians 1:11 KJV 
Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness; 

James 1:2-4 KJV 
2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; 
3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. 
4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. 

James 5:11 KJV 
Behold, we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy. 

I am impatient and stubborn to a fault. I want things done my way and I want them done now. 

The Lord obviously has a sense of humor, otherwise He'd not have blessed me with the most curious, inquisitive, free spirited, independent, stubborn, wild and wonderful boys that He did. And they try what very little patience I have day in and day out. I heard once that you're never supposed to pray for patience because the Lord will answer that prayer with opportunities to practice patience. Unfortunately I heard it a prayer or two too late. And my prayer probably went something like this, "Lord, please give me patience. And give it to me right now!"

And if I am lacking in patience, you can certainly guarantee I'm far from longsuffering. Because patience is not about how long someone can wait. It's about how they behave while they wait.

patience, noun:

the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.

longsuffering, adjective:

having or showing patience in spite of troubles, especially those caused by other people.

I wear my heart on my sleeve. Every emotion I have crosses my face. I'd be a terrible poker player, an even worse actress, and a laughable liar. So having and showing patience in spite of troubles, especially those caused by other people is hard for me. This makes my life difficult at times because motherhood isn't easy.  I am not the perfect Momma I always thought I'd be. I'm not raising perfect boys though sometimes I treat them as though they ought to be. It is hard not to let my frustration, irritation, and anger get the best of me at times and it's even harder not to let it color my judgement when it comes to my wild boys. But I desperately do not want them to remember me as an ill and hateful Momma. I am with them day in and day out, we're rarely apart. It will be me at the forefront of their memories and I need to fill them with love and mercy and grace. The same love, mercy and grace that Christ extends to me when I make mistakes, am slow to listen and unwilling to submit.

Longsuffering is a learned attitude. That is why the Lord gives us so many opportunities to practice it. And we must have a joyful willingness to have ourselves tested, even in difficult times because an unwilling heart will spoil the fruit and we cannot learn God's lesson for us. We certainly give the Lord ample opportunity to practice longsuffering with us.

The Fruits of the Spirit build one upon the other. I believe there is a reason the Holy Ghost inspired Paul to list the Fruits in the order he did. At the time Paul was writing, the Galatian churches were facing a double threat, involving purity of doctirne and purity of conduct. The Fruits are characteristics displayed in the life of a Christian who is justified by faith alone.  Longsuffering is built upon peace that is built upon joy that is built upon the Love of our Savior.

John 15:1-8 KJV

1 I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.

2 Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.

3 Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you.

4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.

5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

6 If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.

7 If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.

8 Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples.

To bear our Fruit we must abide in the Vine, the source of our love, joy, peace and longsuffering, because without Him we can do nothing. We will wither.

Fruits of the Spirit: Peace

Galatians 5:16-25 KJV

16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.

17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.

18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.

19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,

20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,

21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.

25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

Peace Is:

A settled confidence of mind (Philippians 4:7) from a right relationship with God (Philippians 4:9) unaffected by circumstantial change (Philippians 4:11).

To avoid spoiling watch for worry.

The angel in the picture above is Lachlan's angel. It is placed by his tiny grave. The flowers I take on the anniversaries of his delivery date and his due date. I have never shared a picture of his grave with anyone before. It is a place that only my family has been. When I sat down last night to begin this post I was going to go in another direction entirely. I was going to talk about the peace that God gives us from our worry and anxiety in our everyday lives. But I felt the Holy Ghost whisper his name and I knew what I had to do. 

These are a series of letters between my Papaw and me, that I have never shared with anyone, not even Brandon. I had not read them in years until tonight. It never ceases to amaze me when the Holy Ghost moves in my heart.

January 29, 2010

How are you? Great to hear from you. I was wondering if we were still on speaking terms. Now that I see you are still there and still numbered among the living, it just tickles me to death. Granny said "Hi" and she still loves you. Me on the other hand, well it is kinda like charity. Charity never faileth. Well just read 1 Corinthians13 KJV, that will tell you more then I can because you know I am limited...Gpop 

January 29, 2010 

My pulse is slowly returning, I wouldn't call it living just yet.  I have missed you and Granny.  I love you both so much.  It's funny that you mention 1 Corinthians 13. Did you know that it is my favorite passage in the Bible?  I had it read at my wedding and at the baby's service.  That tells me more than an "I love you" ever could.  I miss him so much Papaw and I don't know what to do about it.  I am so angry at God.  I do not hate Him but I don't understand why this has happened to me.  I wanted my baby more than anything and I feel so terribly empty without him.  I have considered terrible, terrible things but I can't bring myself to leave the rest of my family behind.  When will it stop hurting? Will I ever find peace?  I have so many questions and no answers.  I just want to be happy and whole again.  I love you.  Give Granny a kiss for me...Kenni

 January 30, 2010 

Honey you left me with a tough one.You came to the second best. God should be your first choice. I can't speak for Him. He does a lot of things that we as mortal humans can not explain or understand but we should except His wisdom and expertise. He is the greatest. He can see so far into the future and we can't. So we need to except what He does because He knows everything. You should not be angry at Him. He may have greater plans then what we could know. You know, we don't have the power to change the past.  You can't give up. The next best thing is start living again, not just existing. When you start living again the hurt will start to go away. Thank Him for what you have. Enjoy what you have. To find peace you need to look to the only One that has peace. John 14:27 (KJV) and for the other questions Mark 13:23 (KJV). You know, time is the greatest teacher of all. The only problem, it eventually kills all the students. Enjoy life all the time, every day, because it has an expiration date...Gpop

February 15, 2010

Papaw, I am sorry that I have taken so long to write back.  I don't like to talk about everything in front of Brandon because it upsets him and I know he is trying to stay strong for me, so the less he thinks about everything the better off he says he is.  I'm not sure if that is the best thing but I think about it all the time and that doesn't seem to be doing me any better.  I read the passages you told me to.  I even went a little further and read chapters 14 through 17 in John.  I should have read them a long time ago.  I know the He is my Comforter and that I should turn to Him because He is the peace that my heart is missing.  I know that my baby is with the Father and that truly that is where he is the happiest. But I am selfish and I want him here with me.  I do at least have the comfort that I will see him again one day.  I picture it and it is perfect. He'll be in the arms of Jesus and when I get to heaven he will run to my arms and I will finally be able to hold him again and this time he'll be able to hold me back.  I know that there is a reason for everything that happens and I may never know what it is. But if I did, it may be easier to deal with.  The doctors ran some tests and they said that I had a virus that is called CMV and that even though it's rare, if the baby got it, it could have been fatal.  And had it not been fatal and he had it, there was a 90% chance he would have been born deaf and blind and mentally challenged.  I would have loved him anyway!!!  I know that that is no life for a child to live.  He wouldn't have been happy. At least now he'll be able to run and play and see how beautiful heaven is and hear the angels.  I am trying to get better.  It is day to day for me.  Some are better than others and sometimes even the tiniest reminder can set me off and I'm crying for hours.  I guess that is to be expected and everyone says it will get easier.  But I don't want to forget him.  And sometimes I feel like if I don't hang on to every little thing, that I'll forget something and soon he will fade away.  I don't want that to happen.  All I have left are my memories and the few hours that I had with him.  I am sorry to bombard you with all of this but I feel like you understand and I love you so much for that!  Thank you for just being there to listen and to remind me that He is there is to listen too.

Please give Granny a kiss for me and tell her I love her!  I love you!...

Kenni

February 15, 2010

Memories are past history. Some of them I would like to forget. I was young and dumb.

Made a lot of mistakes. But it only takes a minute to recall most all of them even though we 

try hard to forget. We learn by trials, troubles and mistakes. I have been around a long time b

eing a recovering idiot. I made life hard on myself. I learn't to leave past history behind 

and try to create better, future history. That means live clean, love hard, challenge life and 

enjoy all of it you can. And having regrets or depression stifles all the real joy out of 

life. It is a one day at a time thing. 

Even with a small brain and a little work people can 

achieve the greatest of things. It's not hard. I even enjoy what I call life, though most people 

would call it a waste of time. They just don't get it. Life is not all it is cracked up to be. Y

ou are an individual. You have the opportunity to make your own way. And the way you do 

that is with truth and honesty, forgiving yourself first and thinking of others...Gpop

My Papaw is a wise man. And he was right. Time did lessen the pain and living life eased the hurt. But I was still seeking the one thing I needed most...Peace. And Papaw was right about that too. I had to turn to the only One who had it...Jesus. My peace didn't come for more than 3 years after these letters were written. My peace didn't come until I had righted my relationship with God. I had to let go of the anger, the hurt, the bitterness, and the doubt and second guessing His will. It was not easy to do. But when I found myself in a heap in the alter one Sunday, crying out for forgiveness for the years I'd spent away from Him in rebellion and anger, when I finally asked and was forgiven, the peace came soon after.  

Fruits of the Spirit: Joy

Galatians 5:16-25 KJV
16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.
19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

Joy is:
A pre-determined attitude (Philippians 4:4) of praise for God's goodness (Psalms 5:11) by maintaining an eternal focus (Psalms 16:11) in the midst of difficulty (Hebrews 12:2).

To avoid spoiling watch for complaining.

I am not a morning person. Far from it. I thrive on late night deadlines, reading until the wee hours of the morning, movie marathons and snacking in front of the tv while everyone else is sleeping. And I pay the consequences every morning when Kieran, a chip off his Daddy's block, wakes at daylight, bright eyed and bushy tailed. He comes bounding into my bedroom ready to start the day, while Devlin, who is no more a morning person than I am, and I try to burrow further under the covers. Generally my mood is soured before my feet even hit the floor because I don't want to wake up. And I have no one to blame but myself. I lose my joy before I've even had time to wipe the sleep from my eyes. And in losing mine, I tarnish the joy for my boys and Brandon if he's unlucky enough to be home when my grumpy hind end finally rolls out of bed.  

I know what time Kieran wakes up. He's like clockwork. Rarely does he sleep past 7:30am. But I also crave the quiet time I have to myself after they're all in bed. So I can either sacrifice my alone time which is when I blog and do my homework, or I can change my attitude. I can pre-determine my joy. Philippians 4:4 tells me to rejoice in the Lord always. Always. Not just when Brandon is sweet enough to take the boys for the morning and let me sleep in. Not just when I luck up and Kieran sleeps until 9:00am. I should be rejoicing when I hear his little feet bound through the house and jump into my bed because that means he is alive.When my boys were newborns, I had almost an irrational fear of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. I was terrified of it because it seemed like there was nothing I could do to prevent it. So instead of sleeping when they slept, I hovered over them, checking their breathing constantly. Somehow, even though they have outgrown the SIDS stage, I still find myself checking their breathing at night before I go to bed. If I can't see them moving on the video monitor, I creep into their room and lay my hand on their chests just so I can rest assured that they are still breathing. So my blonde haired, blue eyed, alarm clock is absolutely cause for rejoicing because the Lord has blessed me with another day with him. And tomorrow at 7:30am, instead of grumbling and shushing him, I am going to pull him in close and cover his beautiful face in kisses.

And then as we go about our day, I am going to continue to praise God's goodness because it is everywhere I turn. Instead of complaining that Devlin dumped his lunch on the floor, again, I will praise the Lord for having enough food to feed him because there was a time when I wasn't sure we'd have groceries for the week. Instead of complaining that Kieran didn't pick up his toys in the living room and it looks like a bomb exploded, I am going to praise the Lord that I have a living room to clean, because it was not so long ago that there was a very real chance we'd be without a home. Instead of calling my Momma to complain about the boys being wild, I will praise the Lord for two healthy boys who can roughhouse and play with each other because I remember a time when I thought my arms and my heart would be empty, with no babies to hold. Yes, God's goodness has filled my life with joy.

Tomorrow I will maintain an eternal focus on my Lord, even in the midst of difficulty because in His presence is the fullness of joy, at His right hand are pleasures for evermore. When I lose my joy, and I've spoiled my day by complaining, I lose my focus on God. I get out of the Spirit and if I'm out of the Spirit, how can I raise my boys to have a focus on God? Joy and the Lord go hand in hand. I cannot have one without the other. There is nothing in my life that should be able to steal my joy in the Lord. Unless I let it. Hebrews tells us that Christ endured the cross for the joy that was set before Him, despising the shame all the while. What was the joy that was set before Him? The cleansing of my sins, my pardon bought with His blood, my name written in the Lamb's Book of Life. That was His joy. That was the reason He endured the cross. For me. For my boys. For you.

Tomorrow I will wake up with a pre-determined attitude of praise for God's goodness by maintaining an eternal focus in the midst of difficulty. 

In the morning when I rise, give me Jesus.

Give me Joy.

BE YE GLAD

Words and Music by M.K.Blanchard 

In these days of confused situations.

In these nights of a restless remorse,

When the heart and the soul of the nation,

lay wounded and cold as a corpse.

From the grave of the innocent Adam,

comes a song bringing joy to the sad.

Oh your cry has been heard and the ransom,

has been paid up in full, Be Ye Glad.

Oh, Be Ye Glad, Be Ye Glad,

Every debt that you ever had

Has been paid up in full by the grace of the Lord,

Be Ye Glad, Be Ye Glad, Be Ye Glad.

From the dungeon a rumor is stirring.

You have heard it again and again.

But this time the cell keys are turning,

and outside there are faces of friends.

And though your body lay weary from wasting,

and your eyes show the sorrow they've had.

Oh the love that your heart is now tasting

has opened the gate, Be Ye Glad.

Oh, Be Ye Glad, Be Ye Glad,

Every debt that you ever had

Has been paid up in full by the grace of the Lord,

Be Ye Glad, Be Ye Glad, Be Ye Glad.

So be like lights on the rim of the water,

giving hope in a storm sea of night.

Be a refuge amidst the slaughter,

for these fugitives in their flight.

For you are timeless and part of a puzzle.

You are winsome and young as a lad.

And there is no disease or no struggle,

that can pull you from God, Be Ye Glad.

Oh, Be Ye Glad, Be Ye Glad,

Every debt that you ever had

Has been paid up in full by the grace of the Lord,

Be Ye Glad, Be Ye Glad, Be Ye Glad.